--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Sunday - 3/30/06 
11:32 am, er, 12:32 pm
Los Angeles, CA
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Don't forget to turn the clocks ahead!

Not that I remembered myself until a guy at home depot reminded me. Yes I was at home depot already, bright and early at 8am in case you're wondering. I could have been there an hour earlier if I had realized it was blinking daylight farmers change today. I'm not sure why I switched to my ranting yellow text so early (both early in the morning and early in this blog update) but I will switch back for now. I have plenty to rant on later. I had told some of you rabid blog frequenters that I wouldn't be updating until the switch to the new server company happened but I just couldn't wait. More accurately you couldn't wait...or most accurately, I'm bored. Zen is still sleeping, not that I need him to occupy myself but in this case maybe I do. Before I go on I'd like to say that one major difference between Zen and I is our sleep schedules, not that it's a problem.

This is how I know Zen is asleep.

His door is closed.

He usually has it open a crack while he toils on the computer until all hours. I am still on eastern time apparently and hit the sack by 9pm (or 12am if I am truly on eastern time) This is the time I normally went to bed back east to get to the gym by 5:30 am. I guess I haven't switched to Pacific time, or rather I have, but still maintain my same sleep schedule. I may have to try to break this routine if I am to be a true rock and roller. Sorry, rock 'n roller is way more hip. Back to Zen- I want to street perform today as the rain has finally blown over. It's not that nice here lately weather-wise and it was 49 degrees when I woke up...49 degrees... I hear it's 70 in Mass...what the heck is going on here? Anyway before I'm tempted to switch font colors again I need someone to park my truck for me at the Promenade and Zen said he'd be glad to help. As I was saying our sleep schedules are a bit different. I go to bed at 9pm and he konks out anywhere from 1am-4am. As he is still asleep I may go to the park up the street where they are having a love-fest and celebrating an upcoming walk across country. The guy Teale who sold me the bike told me about the party in the park and I want to head up to see what it's all about. I guess I should switch colors again. mmmmmmmbahhhhhh that's better. I forget what the cause is but apparently someone had the idea to film the walk across country and make it into a reality show which seems to be the only reality show that hasn't been done yet. There's a reality show for you, a guy running around trying to come up with ideas for reality shows that haven't been done yet...I bet that hasn't been done yet...or it probably has. Speaking of reality shows, my friend Garrett in Santa Monica told me he had a friend with a curious business. It was a call service that would drive you home if you got too drunk. It is a great idea actually, you call them if you've had a few too many and they come to the bar or club or wherever you are on a little scooter. They find you, pull you out of the gutter, and plop their little scooter in your car's trunk, drive you home, pull the scooter out of the trunk and scoot away...viola', you're home safe, and you don't have to go back all hung over and pick up your car later. (as you would if you simply called a cab) Now I'm not sure what would happen if they came to pick you up and you had driven your scooter to the bar...seeing as it would be difficult to put a scooter on the back of a scooter, let alone try to dive you home on the back of a scooter all drunk, but I'm sure they have a contingency plan for that. Anyway, a friend of the guy who had the scooter pickup business thought that the whole concept might lend itself well to being a reality show. I would have to agree. That reality show may be too good in fact. Could you imagine the stories and happenings that would come out of that? Picking up drunk and belligerent people from all walks of life spilling their guts in a cross-eyed haze? Too funny, ok

All that aside took a bike ride to home depot this morning to get some hardware to fix the latches on my VSO stage platform which attaches to the footpedal unit to hold them together while I perform. The hook/eye fasteners had stripped and fell out due to my incessant dancing about. Pictured below is the new long hook with the old one sitting next to it.

As you can see, whoops, as you can see the smaller eye bolt sustained a lot of abuse. It's all bent, and eventually cracked the plywood and fell out. As a result, my pedals tended to drift away from my stage/standing platform causing much hilarity for the audience in the event that I fell off, which never really happened. Speaking of falling off, the other day when I did a Baba O'Riley demo for Zen, Ben and his sister...we'll call her Jen, though that isn't her real name.

Zen, Ben, and Jen are friends
watching me bend, and lend again,
me, myself to VSO,
swaying back...to and fro
I nearly went, through the win-dow

This little ditty is highly silly and equally accurate. While playing a Version of Baba O'Riley for them (Zen, Ben and Jen) I nearly fell out the window. At the end of the tune, when I go off jammin' away I always try to bring it all back and end it one one note as in the original Who version. Strumming away, legs flailing and trying to hit those last couple buttons at the end of the tune causes me to (usually) fall backwards and catch myself on the wall I always set up in front of, which I have learned the hard way to set up in front of. This time was a big learning experience in that the wall behind me had a window in it or more accurately, an air conditioner in the window. Of course when I ended the tune I was all excited and fell backward only to push the A/C halfway out the window while they (Zen, Ben, and Jen) sat there applauding nonchalantly. I peeled back the curtain and the thing was practically dangling out the window above the heads of a soon to be innocent bystander. I pulled the A/C back in and now have to implement some sort of harness system. Not for the A/C...for me...string myself in a harness to avoid falling or venturing too close to the window again...or the Grand Canyon.

Anyway I replaced the eye bolt and now it will work for awhile
until the new, improved 4" eyebolt falls out, which is forthcoming.

In that case I'll go to the six inch bolt

and so on and so on and so on

While I'm on a semi-serious note/text I finally fixed the plexiglas etchings that had taken some damage on the drive cross country. They were held together mostly with tape from when I hurriedly patched them together in Natick. They were the one project I didn't have time to be bothered with before I moved out. If you remember, the glass had fallen out, and the frames were awry

I drilled some holes...

...and attached the plexiglas using 1-1/2" screws,  washers, and locknuts.

I didn't drill holes in the glass itself, and merely used the screws and washers to butt up against the glass to hold it all together. this setup allows for interchangeable glass etchings which may or may not, and hopefully be, forthcoming. There are also four screws on each frame holding the glass in. I only outlined two with the red circles, but you may have realized that.

Aside from the plexiglas repair I don't have much to rave about today or yesterday afternoon. Actually I redid my computer most of the day (again) as windows XP didn't take and I had to do it all over which reminds me to start my official rant.

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Oh Microsoft how I hate thee, let me install the ways...

It droppeth like a gentle acid rain, irritating me skin to no end

Why do you need to work bugs into your software just so you can buy that new basketball team with matching Lear jet? Why do I have to sit here and load windows XP again and again until the computer decides to accept it and not regurgitate it into a digitized pile of vomit? I wish I could buy a Mac but then I'd go broke buying both the hardware and software which is something I'm not prepared to do. I'm also not prepared to rant on Microsoft as I thought I was because I am in a reasonably good mood this morning, afternoon, or evening, whatever the case may be to the d*ng farmers. I will instead rant on the cat, which I have been trying to warm up to...Warm up to 500 degrees in the oven if the thing would let me catch it.

To refresh, this is the cat

I think Zen said he found this cat in a dumpster in an alley, or a blender in an alley, I forget which. The blender must have been running when he found the thing because this is the most spooked-out kitty I've ever had the pleasure of being mauled by. I have been feeding the cat little bits of cheese and am trying to be extraordinarily nice to get him to stop fearing for his life every time I go near him. He's at the point now where I can get a picture of him, and even get a rear shot while he's sitting there and not running away in fear of his life.

As you can see the picture is dark as I
was using night vision to creep up on him.

Not really but he is a fearful,
fleeting feline to say the least

As you can see he caught me trying
to take the picture while he wasn't looking

I tried to get another picture of him not
glaring at me in mistrust but was unsuccessful

Those eyes are just freaking me out.

I finally got the cat to come up on the bed but he ran away as I rose
from my petrified position on the bed reaching for my digital camera

A few minutes later I lured him back
into the room, in search of cheese probably

I was quite horrified during this picture and expected a
grand mauling from my attempt to be sociable with him

Eventually I managed to lure him back onto the bed

I paid dearly for this and ended up spending several
weeks in the hospital suffering from severe lacerations

After I got back from my hospital stay I ventured to try and make friends with the cat once more. I'm not sure why I care but maybe it's better to make friends now than risk being savaged in the middle of the night by said kitty-cat. After several more attempts to pet him, landing me in the hospital several more times, I finally managed to pet him for three seconds. Actually it was
more of a inelegant lunge to pet him as he scrambled off under the bed.

Or maybe he scurried away from the noise
of the construction going on outside.

-onto-

the

(Which I actually typed to my friend in an email and pasted into the blog)

(shoot me)

I'm sitting here wrapped in a blanket in the freezing cold listening to the construction/demolition/blasting right outside my window. Blog pending on that, maybe I'll just do it now.

(by the way I FINALLY uploaded the vso website to the new server and have submitted for my name to redirected to the new server. Don't feel bad if you didn't understand that as I have no idea what the heck it means other than this- the vso blog will not be updated again for about 48 hours, however, when it does come back up in two days I will have 1,000 times as much digital storage space to have ridiculous amounts of room for all kinds of nonsense pertaining to everything under the sun. Unfortunately this is the same time I will probably have writers blog for real and it will all be for not)(I hope the following rant lends itself to yourself not going through such immense withdrawls from lack of bloggage)

back to the crewless construction clue...

These friggin' eggheads are out here at 9 am making me move my VSOhicle so they can clamber and toil with the pavement 7 inches from the head of my bed (through the wall)(which is made of old egg crates). These incessant groupie of roadie wrecker mother truckers are banging around in all there tar ripping jubilance worrying about no-one but their own derogatory selves. They arrived at 9am, which is when I had to move my truck...of course the only parking spot was back in Santa Monica which is a 2 hour drive, or 700 feet as the crow flies. This place is a general motorist (GM) nightmare and I think I'm developing a rash. Not only do they not let you park during street sweeping days (which only clears a path in the otherwise filthy road and surrounding area) but I am forced to drive around for an hour and a half looking for a blasted spot...

I circled the sign on the telephone pole in red which informed
me of said construction nuisance a couple days prior
 

(sung to the tune of Motorhead)

a blasted spot in the road outside
my feelings from you, oh I tried
to hide and ride throughout the day
get the &^%^$% out of here

 

Aside from their knocking and banging about, before the construction started they sat there with the trucks running for three hours before the cop showed up to talk to them and occasionally wave at the oncoming traffic for an inordinate cost to you and me. They sat their sipping there coffee and drooling on themselves with the truck spewing black soot directly into my nostrils through the inadequate window sealings. After the cop showed up to direct and co-produce traffic in this Hollywood bull-avard. Not sure what avard is. oh no, I've run into a wall. I have writers blog. What to do. I've completely lost my train of thought that they might be gone by lunchtime but they continue to scrape and gouge at the road with unnecessary jackhammers left running on the sidewalk just to drown out the real noise. And another thing- if you're just sitting there (I need a job) idling in the truck why do you have to leave it in reverse gear causing that belligerent earish anti-eye anti-candy - "beep" beep" "beep" Could you be a little noisier? Set off a neutron bomb or two to drown out the auditory onslaught...to provide a sort of white noise to cover the horrifically loud noisy brigade a microsecond before your atoms are blasted apart in a ferocious nuclear explosion wiping out your hopes and dreams once and for all. At least it would be quiet, unless it is hell, then you'd be where I am. WHEN THE HECK IS THEIR LUNCH BREAK? I'm going to rent a rickety old pickup truck and erect some scrap plywood and turn it into a makeshift canteen truck just to distract them. I'll have sandwiches dangling from strings on the bumper in a "just married" fashion to lure them out of their Mackasarus bulldozers and lead them down the street like the pied piper...or the fried piper in this case. Man they just stopped. Finally They heard me typing up here and they knew I was typing about them. So either the real plywood canteen truck is here; in all it's sand-dandy-dangle-a-sandwichness, or they are on their way up to kill me, which is better than listening to the racket, unless they kill me and I go to hell, then I'll be back where I am, or where I was...45 seconds ago just before the canteen truck showed up.
 

I also took a spill on my new bike

(Thank God)

I was riding down Beverly Ave. in search of an ATM machine that didn't charge an outrageous fee for withdrawing money. I figured I'd find one on my credit union's website which I will never do again. I searched for ATM machines that charged no fee within a few miles of my new pad. The search engine on the website informed me that there was an ATM located in the Rite-Aid pharmacy about 2 miles away. I wanted to get a little cash to have on hand so I ventured off on my bicycle to seek out the fee-free dispenser.

Needless to say after I got to the Rite-Aid and put my ATM card in the slot standing there in the pharmacy, the screen read that I would be charged a whopping $1.95 fee for the transaction. At this point my blood began to quickly boil. I tried in vein to compose myself as the onrushing rage overcame me and I tipped over a display of cheeze-it's before I reluctantly hit the accept button and paid the ghastly fee, thinking surely somehow it would be waived before the end of the transaction. Let me just depart from my story for a moment to inform you of something Zen told me. As well as ragging the heck out of me because I can't find my way around this simple as hell city to drive in (it's set up as a grid) he also gives me little tips and pointers to help on this here quest I'm on. He told me that one time he was using an ATM similar to the one I was using (a little portable job erected in a Quik-e-mart) and he had his account number stolen. Now this happens from time to time but the way in which his number was stolen boggled my mind. He was standing there, entering his pin number and the store he was in had a security camera zoomed in so they could read people's ATM numbers, they'd go back after you withdrew a little cash from your account, and finish the job. He had $1,000 stolen this way. He knows this because the owners of said Quik-e-mart got busted for it. Can you believe that? He said to be careful to cover the number pad with your other hand while you enter your pin #. He agreed that he looks a little foolish for this but after his account (story) I plan to bring a refrigerator box wherever I go now. If I have to use the ATM I will erect the box around the ATM machine, and go inside and do my transaction in ballot-box fashion. It may sound extreme to carry a huge cardboard refrigerator box wherever I go, but hey, it helps to have around if it starts raining.

Back to some tangible sense of storytelling- After leaving the Wrong-Aid pharmacy a little ticked off (ticked off because I could have tunneled with a plastic spoon in 30 seconds to the ATM around the corner instead of riding my bike two miles to the supposed surcharge free cash machine) I headed back down Beverly Ave towards the new pad. Along the way, as I mentioned before, I dumped the bike. I have been getting familiar with city riding on the bike like just a girl, and will no doubt be like one of those belligerent bicycle couriers in New York City before long. During certain situations I will ride on the sidewalk although I'm pretty sure it's prohibited. Everyone does it. I also recognize the idiots who pull out in front of you in hopes to get into traffic before you ride by...which never happens...I mean it happens all the time, but they never make it into traffic, forcing me to ride around them. With all the city bike riding tricks in hand, of which there are more that I don't feel like talking about, I still managed to fall off the bike. I was riding along minding my own business when I was forced over by a Mercedes minivan into a row of 12 trash cans. I managed to avoid the first 11 trash cans but the last one caught my handlebar and I took a tumble for the worst. Actually it wasn't as worst as it could have been. If I had gone down on the first trash can, or even cans 2-11 I would have ended up wiping out into the trash cans. As it was, or as I lay, I was able to avoid the cans and fall in the grassy knoll just after the cans. I sustained minimal injury, nothing like trying to pet the cat. My pants and favorite unfashionable sweatshirt now sport a few extra grass stains which is unfortunate, but I can, and will have to, live with it. The following is a picture of the location while driving by afterwards with Zen. The trash cans were obscured by the passing truck, and there were only two of them at this time but I assure you they were there.

I then proceeded back to the pad thinking of the nasty-gram I was
going to send to my credit union. I came up with the following-

This letter slayed me. This really nice guy Bob wrote back and said that he would gladly refund me the money (as I figured they would) He informed me after I apologized for the hate mail I sent that their site was updated frequently as to free ATM machines and he didn't know how I was charged. He said to check the website for bank branches affiliated with my credit union and I plan to do so, but I will drive to said affiliated branch locations.

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Donations welcome
(coming soon)
(I hope)