--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thursday - 3/30/06 
11:32 am
Los Angeles, CA
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the

I have moved into a new apartment a little bit east of Hollywood. It's a good sized place and very reasonably priced. The apartment is roomy and my bedroom includes a bed, dresser, shelf unit and a couple nightstands. The room has ample space as does the rest of the place.

I was able to fit the VSO rig
into my bedroom in one corner

The ceilings are even high
enough for my light apparatus.

This was a huge plus that I could
set up the self-lighteous right show.

Before I go on about the new pad (or "flat "if speaking in English) I would like to jump back a bit show some pictures I took from the hike that I went on last week with Garrett and Teresa, the couple I was staying with in Santa Monica.

We left the cat behind...

(to work on the blog)

meow

(that's all he was able to contribute)

(actually he did a rant too)

meow

We drove a little ways up the Pacific coast highway

We proceeded just north of Santa Monica to a canyon trail they
knew between some of the mountains north of Santa Monica.

the area was quite lovely

lush vegetation grew in the canyon

nourished by the stream that ran through

I don't know why I took so many pictures of the stream

That's one reason I wanted to tell the story

I had so many pictures

ho hum

 la de da

Oh there's an exciting one, Teresa made her way down
a ravine to test the water and assault the local frogs,
or blogs if I would just stop doing that.

The noble Garrett assisted Teresa up from the ravine when they both
plummeted into the water and were attacked by the poisonous frogs

That didn't really happen

Hiking on

We were out for about an hour as we had to get
back for a dinner engagement with some of their friends.

The hike was quite enjoyable

Some of the landscape was peculiar.

Small stones, smooth and round were
embedded into the side of the canyon.

Garrett surmised that this area may have been underwater
at one point due to the smooth stones, much like beach stones.

After the hike we headed back down the trail

Past the stream, to the car

I'm gonna get my money's worth out of this camera

Ok, back to

the

Actually, skipping back further again to some adventures I had on the bike path on the second day (this is my own fault for having to post-blog past skipped bloggings, and not updating the blog as much as I should be)(this will be my confession and penance for having to update now)

^%$*&%*&

I saw numerous birds out on the beach.

It was a beautiful scene,

their wings outspread riding the
uninterrupted breeze from the sea.

Bobbing and frolicking in the noonday sun

Then I realized they were just congregated like air rats in
search of free handouts by bored and rule-breaking tourists

I saw this guy who was riding a skateboard
and was using a small sail to propel himself.

I wasn't sure if this had been done before and wondered if I had
been an unknowing witness to the birth of a new extreme sport

or just an extreme idiot

On the way back I passes this billboard on wheels.

I had never seen one of these before

or maybe I had and just forgot

If you can't beat 'em join 'em

I saw this cool blimp on the radar

 Then I stopped to get a few groceries and afterwards was going to hang around, then fix my transmission, change my oil, do a little rollerblading, biking, and bust out some moves on my skateboard, but the sign said it was prohibited

^$#@^%#@$^

By the way this is the pick I plan to
use to rip this town a new fault line

It won't be my fault

or maybe it will

The San AndreVSOs fault

Ok, I finally want to talk about

the

but first, I have set out on the task of figuring out the best/cheapest scenario for street performing. The only problem I seem to have besides being able to do everything else involved with the VSO which includes but may or may not be limited to- Guitarist, bass player, keyboardist, drummer, percussionist, vocalist, backup vocalists, guitar tech, sound engineer, light technician, 1st violinist, 2nd violinist, all violinists, cellist(s), oboest, flutist, tootist, frootist, horn player(s), pianist, banjoest, T-shirt designer, CD pre-production, production, post production, CD cover layout, website design, website management, artist management, concession sales, progression wails, legging flails, puppy dog tails, basouiki player, congoist, bongoist, oingoist, boingoist, David Bowie, roadie and groupie. Aside from that the only problem I have come up against piloting the VSO in a self indulgent glee is finding a method to park my truck after I unload my VSO equipment for street performing. I obviously can't leave $30,000 worth of equipment sitting on a street corner while I go off to park my truck. Ahh..to be so dependant on other people. I have a few ideas which are open and welcome discussion and input.

A) I have a few friends here who have agreed to park my truck but I have to do it when they are available.

B) I have put an ad on craigslist offering small compensation for parking my truck. Responders are subject to furnishing references, a personal meeting, and valid drivers license. the ad was posted as follows-

Hello, I'm a street musician just into town and I need someone to park my truck after I unload my equipment from it to perform at the 3rd street promenade. I am a solo artist with a lot of equipment which I cant leave unattended for even 5 minutes to park my truck. An ideal candidate would be someone in the immediate area with knowledge of good (hopefully free) parking locations, and a cell phone to contact to retrieve my truck for me after performing. I can't pay a heck of a lot as I'm unemployed but I think anyone would appreciate the music project I do enough to lend a helping hand, especially fellow musicians. Trade for services or $10 for the day, Only a few minutes work really. Will pay more if I do well performing
Car thieves need not apply!!
thanks,
VSO

I have had a few responses but am waiting to hear back from all of them. Aside from that the only idea I can come up with is to make the VSO into a wacky Rube Goldberg type flying machine

hmm...

ok

the

Finally, and I promise not to get sidetracked this time.

Oh wait, I have to tell you about my new bike.

I found it on craigslist
(I just love craigslist)

craigslist

(the obvious joke being "gregslist" but I won't get into that)

The bike is a Trek 730 I got from a guy over in Hollywood. It's a hybrid with narrow tires that have a small knobby tread. I am pretty sure I'll be able to ride it off-road as well as I may want to do some trail riding. My last bike, which I sold on ebay (twice actually) was a full-on mountainbike with disc brakes and full suspension front and rear. I used to ride it on the street as well so I outfitted it with near-slick tires for better road performance. This bike is the opposite, mainly used for street and around town riding but can surely handle some light off-road. I won't be doing any rock hopping on this bike but I was a reasonably mellow mountainbiker, sticking mostly to singletrack and flat trails. The guy I got it from, Teale was really cool and threw in a lock and rear flasher with the deal. He is an artist over in Hollywood who does painting, silkscreening, and sculpture. He also does music projects and seemed to be pretty well-rounded although he was in good shape physically. he gave me a business card that he had made and I will contact him in the future as I'd like a sign made for the VSO for street performing displaying my VSO logo and website.

Back to the bike, I installed the rear flasher.

I had to drill a hole in it and attach it with
zip ties as I have lost them in the past.

This unit had no attachment mechanism so
I was forced to attach it with zip ties regardless

The bike also has a cable attached
to the seat so it won't get stolen

This is a great feature which I had seen in
the past but had never owned a bike with this

Overall this bike seems perfectly suited to my needs. I am looking forward to the combination of getting a cardio workout along with saving money by not driving my truck. The bike will no doubt pay for itself within a couple months at most. With the flasher and my yellow backpack I will be visible and hopefully do alright in the LA traffic. I'm used to being on a bike and there are many bikers around so it shouldn't be too bad.

Finally onto

the

All jokes aside I'd like to talk about

the

(No, you're not seeing double, that would look like this)

the

the

so onto

the

(for real)

I moved in last weekend and have been having a great time here so far. My roommate Zen is a super guy and a brilliant computer technician with his own business. All kissing up aside we really seem to get along well and have many similarities. He works on his computer a lot of the time as I dabble with the VSO and my computer as well. He gives me my space (stay the hell out of my room Zen) and is cool to hang out with when we cross paths, or when I have an issue with my computer which has not surprisingly been quite a bit. He is a great violin player too, though he may try to convince you otherwise. Actually he was a little self righteous about his violinibillity on one of his webcast broadcasts. He has an internet radio show as well and is keen to interview the VSO sometime. I'm not sure he knows what he's getting into with that as the VSO story is quite involved. I'm sure it will be an enjoyable time for all. After I upload my website to the larger server I plan to include the broadcast, or blogcast in this case. This may lend new cause for alarm with all you bloggers as the audioblog comes into effect, followed shortly by the videoblog, on into the VSO web-cam with me running around with a miners helmet with a camera attached which is forthcoming. I moved in the room and as I mentioned had adequate room for the VSO complete with lightshow option

 The room has a closet

even a TV popped up which I hooked
my playstation up to, circled in red.

I hooked it up not for gaming, but
to watch Zen's huge DVD collection

I have plenty of room for blog updating too

There's even a fly on the wall for no extra charge

I did almost have a rude awakening
when I tried to set up my light show

As you can see I nearly took an unwitting tumble from this broken
chair but remained unscathed as it didn't actually let go on me.

my guitar seems to like the place

as do I

I guess I should at least smile

(I was more focused on getting the camera angle right)

(pun only intended in retrospect)

Zen has a buddy Ben, which rhymes. Ben is a model and has done work for Calvin Klein and Nautica. He started out as one of those guys who says "can you hear me now" on the Verizon commercials which reminds me my next bill will be due soon.

This is Ben

A far cry from my feeble attempts above to
appear sexy, which I am told I am...feeble that is

Like Zen, he is a great guy too and he and his equally nice sister just moved back to LA from New York with him for a little fun and sun. Truthfully they have been far more productive than I, and have been going to quite a few auditions in the area. We've spent a lot of time hanging out watching movies which has been cool. I was able to offer some assistance in the form of my AAA card which thankfully I didn't need to use other than for hotel discounts on my trek out west. The security system in her car had been set off and they needed a tow to a dealership to disable it. Thankfully the AAA guy who came was able to reset it so they got the car started and all was well

Of course they have been staying here while they find a place to live which is forbidden and I now will switch to my yellow ranting text. This blonde bombshell has been crashing here with his equally cute and silly as heck sister, trompsing around like they own the place, sleeping on the couches and causing a Beneral nuisance wherever they go. I have tried to lock myself in my room to avoid the oncoming relentlessness, but Ben keeps coming in to check his email on my computer. What do I look like, Starbucks? Like you can just plunk your coffee down and start banging away on my laptop to see how many chicks fainted over your myspace page? I Think Not, therefore I am kidding. I'm happy to help them out as so many people have been helping me out since day one on my journey, and that's really what it's all about.

_________________________________

Onto the grande super-sized

Flogging

extra value rant with jumbo coke

This place is a tad noisy. It is in an urban setting and I guess no louder than any other megalopolis. The street noise is something I'll have to get used to, or demolish with an arsenal of RPG fire, which is forthcoming. There is a school across the street and this dumb-ass trash truck was making a hell of a racket

It was clambering like a recycling version of Thomas the Tank engine for which I was brutally corrected. Thomas the train engine is another show altogether narrated by a different Beatle.

then this guy showed up trying to start his car for 45 minutes.

He was turning the car over and over to no avail.

The thing was cranking the motor over and over
but the guy didn't realize what was wrong.

 Some of his buddies came by to help jump start it.

Now I'm no mechanic, I'll leave that to other Guy's. I do know this. If your car is turning over and the starter motor is cranking you do not need a jump start. What you need is to have your head examined. If the starter motor is cranking the problem lies elsewhere and merely attaching jumper cables and sitting back and cranking away will not do you any good. I'm no expert but it seems to me that there may have been a problem with the distributor, or electronic ignition. Perhaps the fuel filter needed to be changed. Anything but incessantly cranking the motor wearing out the battery.

but to no avail

Eventually he started randomly poking and prodding
at wires under the hood and it magically started

and he drove away

The 

Before I proceed I'd like to include the following disclaimers*

*None of the following pictures are of the actual kitchen. I merely
found then on google's image search and included them for effect

*The place wasn't nearly as dirty as will be described either. There
were a few dishes left in the sink but not to the extent of the following rant.

Actually it was a massive pile of dishes but Zen's a busy guy

(Hi Zen)

Today I moved into a new place with a really cool guy "Zen" who has his own computer tech business. He is a great guy but by his own admittance, a little behind in doing the dishes. When I came to look at the place in the early afternoon it was pretty clean. Somehow by the time I got back in the evening with my things to move in the kitchen looked like it been ravaged by wolverines. I was only gone an hour but the mold on the dishes in the La Brea tarpits of a sink was growing at a phenomonal rate. Maybe I hadn't noticed them before but I donned my chemical spill suit and headed in this morning with a pressure washer and backhoe to attempt a cleaning. I moved in yesterday evening and during the night I had gotten up to go to the bathroom and I caught the cockroaches cleaning the floor as even they were appalled by the overwhelming filth.

As I started to do the immense pile of dishes that had mysteriously sprung up I noticed the sink had no drain stop. There was a grimy, once blue plastic cup wedged in the garbage disposal to trap water to allow one to do dishes. Of course the thing got pushed in too far and was wedged in the rancid drain leaving me to fish for it for 20 minutes amongst the slugs and melon rinds before I could even start my cleaning adventure. I noticed an inordinate amount of shot glasses in the pile of dirty dishes. Zen said he didn't drink, so I could only surmise that he had dirtied all the other glasses and was daintily sipping Kool-aid from the shot glasses in a last-ditch attempt to avoid doing the dishes. I filled the sink with hot water and left the kitchen area as my 30 minute exposure time was up. I then headed to the local hospital for a cat-scan just to make sure I hadn't developed some form of cancer from my half hour in housekeeper-hell. I checked out ok so I went back to attempt to do the dishes again.

I donned a fresh chem. suit and ventured back into the dimly lit kitchen. Dimly lit due to grime buildup on the 300 watt light bulbs. I started slow, breathing regularly as I pried the bluish green moss off the bottom of the coffee mugs. I did a pre-wash just to get off the big chunks before my time in the confinement area was up again. I flew to the mayo clinic to have an expert take a look at me. After giving me a clean bill of health I caught the 9:30 back to LA. Once back in the kitchen I proceeded to tackle the pots and pans. When I say tackle I'm speaking literally as they were trying to scurry out the door as the mold had evolved into 9 legged lizard-like creatures during my absence still attached hopelessly to the pans. After clubbing them down I scraped off the highly evolved new link in the food chain and sent it off to the Smithsonian Institute for evaluation. Once back from the post office I went back in...onto the dishes...still. There was a teetering pile of them still left to do a pre-wash on, and I set about the grueling task. I was fortunate to have witnessed first hand the dish running away with the spoon to start a new branch on the evolutionary tree

There was milk in a glass that had turned to cheese in the interim from when the dishes were done before which I could only assume was the prior tenant from three years ago. The cheese was pretty tasty actually, seeing as mold couldn't even survive in this Martian sink-hole landscape.

Sorry that even made me gag

This is the other side of the
kitchen which wasn't nearly as vulgar.

The washing machine is clearly visible...or is that the microwave.
I can't tell with all the refuse piled around it.

I gazed at this cup for a few seconds as it stared back at me and then it blinked.
There was a little bacterial town dwelling here and I almost hated to throw it away. 

At this point I was ready to move into the swamp down the street

but it was more expensive so I continued to clean

 The trash can was perhaps
the cleanest thing in the place

It was reasonably well packed and almost tidy...except for that splattering to the floor to the left that hadn't made it into the can...or maybe it had made it in the can but evolved to the point of self-awareness and was seeking escape through the can's rusty bottom. Whatever the case I did not take the trash out. I couldn't find the leash. Speaking of leashes, Zen has a cat but I haven't seen a litter box around which is somewhat frightening. I will just keep my bedroom door shut and wear rubbers over my shoes for the time being.

Reeking of, this is the cat

As you can see, like the tumbleweeds,
he is too fast to be caught on film.

Oh there he is

This cat is super-hyper. I had to use a tranquilizer gun just to get that picture...and those eyes of his aren't just lit up from the camera flash. This is the most terrifying, palpable felinus wheretheheckisitus on record. Any attempt to find said cat is pointless, and upon finding it, results in a serious butt-lashing and rash gashing slashterpiece. This cat is an artist in his claw ripping jousting matches. He once clawed an impressive likeness of the Sistine chapel ceiling into a guy's back. In under 4 seconds no less. I did try to make friends with the cat by cleaning his food dish, but numerous pettempts to approach him have resulted in severe temporary blindness and bloody buildup so I have ke-pet to myself for the most part.

Back to Hell's kitchen

I then moved onto the floor...on to the floor gasping for air after my
horrific experience with the sink. I have provided a floor diagram
for you to follow my gross encounters of the worst kind.

1) The floor itself was encrusted in the splatterings of a thousand meals which continued up the walls, nearly reaching the ceiling, creating an inverted igloo. Instead of buying costly groceries I plan to lick the walls for sustenance through my stay.

2) This I can only assume was the cat's food dish, which was sitting next to the litterbox (3) which I apparently hadn't noticed before.

3) This may or may not have been the litterbox, or it may have been a feeble attempt at cleaning the floor before the bubonic plague set in...or the cockroaches hauled said cleaning person away.

4) Was an unidentifiable mass. It appeared to be squidlike tentacles which were squirming in the corner so I didn't clean them up. Instead I nudged the cat's bowl closer with the hopes that it would feed, and/or be devoured by the cat or vice versa.

5) Numerous straws were littering the floor from an apparent Coke party, or Pepsi...everyone sipping the bubbily beverage with straws from the aforementioned shot glasses.

6) Is a grimy floor tile that to me looks like the blessed mother. I plan to pry the tile up and sell it on ebay.

Oh there he is

I eventually sanitized the kitchen (not sterilized, I merely regained
my sanity by attempting to clean it) when I moved into the living room

This room wasn't at all bad...at least nothing was moving in here...oh wait I spoke to soon. No, that's the cat...no, the cat is over there. Hmm, Zen's asleep, Ben and his sister left so what could be causing the movement under the blanket on the couch? I crept away to my room, my questions unanswered, and my fears in triplicate

I didn't try to tackle the bathroom

I'll leave that for Zen

Onto

the

Oh wait, we just did that

__________________________

Donations welcome
(coming soon)
(I hope)