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Friday, 3/11-3/12/06
2:00pm
Flagstaff, Arizona
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Today I drove out of Albuquerque New Mexico headed to Flagstaff Arizona.
I would have to say that Arizona has the
best scenery by far on my trip.
The landscape is carved out of the earth by the relentless powers of
erosion.
I saw my first official tumbleweed along the way. They were blowing around like crazy in the high winds. I tried to capture one on film but they were blowing by too fast. If you ever drive out here don't worry about them hitting your car, they simply bounce off without any sound or indication that they had even hit the vehicle. I was glad for this as a couple big ones hit my truck.
There were long expanses of land in
Arizona that
stretched out and some rolling hills with desert fauna.
I hit some snow which lasted about 20 minutes and the visibility was down to almost zero. The temperature didn't go below 28 degrees but the fluctuation in temperature was remarkable. Within the span of a couple miles while climbing the gradual slope, the temperature dropped from the mid 40's to 32 degrees. I could see the snow in the distance as I was headed towards it which was truly something to see. Back in New England the hills and trees blocked the view a lot more than I thought.
This truly is big sky country and the
sky is like a huge dome
over everything that is impossible to capture on film.
Around the time I needed to stop for lunch I was headed right by the Petrified Forest National Park so I decided to stop there and take in the sights at the first national park on my journey. I stopped in for a burger which was quite good in a resteraunt next to the headquarters and then proceeded down the road leading to the park. The wind was blowing up to 60 mph and it was only 50 degrees at best. With the wind chill factor it felt like 30 degrees at best. I had to put on my coat and hat and even then it the weather was relentless, a testament to the power of time and nature. The first part of the park was the painted desert. A uniquely colored valley sculpted in bas relief, a masterpiece slowly unearthed through the ages.
The park was set up as a drive in a Southwest direction around several unique and picturesque areas with an area to pull over and gander.
The drive took about an hour but I took longer by stopping to get pictures at these areas for all you blogheads. The wind was incessant, howling and cold through the entire trek
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About 15 miles in, or halfway through the drive, I started to see the petrified trees.
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They lay in in random patterns but with some strewn out as they had fallen so many years ago. The minerals had infiltrated the hollow cells in the wood and were completely solid with what appeared to be quartz and other translucent mineral deposits. They were indeed solid as rock. For some reason I expected them to feel more hollow, or have more of a tree-like texture but they were giant pillars of stone which must have tumbled eons ago.
Although it was a cold and raw day I was happy to have experienced the stark beauty of the park. I left about 3 pm and headed to my destination for the night and I will probably stay an extra night due to the snowstorm coming in. They are predicting up to a foot of snow in Flagstaff and the surrounding area. I arrived just in time to miss all of it save a taste of the snow coming through the mountains 50 miles before which was very different than the snow back east. The snow seemed to realize it's fleeting lifespan as a amiable local I met in the gas station told me it tends to disappear as quickly as it arrives when the sun comes out. The snow was fierce with large flakes which were definitely different than those occuring in Massachusetts. I took this last picture just outside Flagstaff where I captured this last image before my camera memory space was full. I bought an extra battery as the old one was fading and am glad I did due to the scenery I encountered.
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And now...
Onto the Flogging
I would have to say Arizona is the official state
of
excessively large wide-load Truckasauruses
I passed this hellish anti-carnival on wheels in all
it's drab greyerry
(Truque de' Solei, get outta my way)
and this thing was a nightmare to get around.
It was blowing down the track like a relenting version of Thomas the way-too-big-for-this-track, pain-in-the-back, engine. I tried to get around it for about ten minutes when I finally worked up the nerve in all my nervousness to pass the blinking thing (Wide load sirens blinking) by driving on the shoulder past all it's dandruffy danderousity and demonlike destructive power.
I then saw a tandem trailer of the vertically perpendicular type
A bit of roving trailer trash which made passing a garabagy venture to the dump (truck)
I then received a much needed tarping from a local mexicali blues pickup-tarp player
The scenery at one point was obscured by
some local fauna of the billboardian genre.
Obviously the relentless seemingly seeded scenery erodings of corporate America had figured out that plastering these wanna-be mountainous monuments in front of the breathtaking landscape would encourage sales at the displayed vendors. Either that or inspire mass pyromania in an attempt to burn them all to the ground, which is forthcoming after I buy a six pack of bic lighters.
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Onto
The Rest-araunt
I happened upon the Petrified Forest, and stopped in the
windy Park and proceeded to walk, or more accurately,
blown into the gift shop adjoining the park headquarters
(I will explain why it's so dark in a moment)
I then decided I was peckishly hungry and was swept
into the adjointing burger-joint like toasty tumbly
toaster leavings by the ongoing gale outside said lot.
I ordered a cowlishiuos morsel from the family Cowburg Devourus (hamburger) and a one fries fits all standard allotment of fried potato clippings and proceeded to persue the thought of a Carboni-ated beverage of the bubbly pop tonicy soda pop kind. The homolid behing the counter said in some form of Arizonian chanterwally that two sizes were available. A small size, served in a red textured type cup akin to the sixties but not as young or the massively wholloping supreme de' supremely superly sized soda pop fountain of bubble do me bring it on Mr. freindlee attendee attendant. He informed me that this geyser of a drink cup was refillable per wannadoitum but the red plastic oh-so-small cup was not. I pondered on his still resonating reasoning behind this tonic notion and though it not possible for a cup to not be fillable and not refillable. Then it occurred to me that he was speaking using econobonics, the language of moolat$ki, or Gimmee yourcashificus. The cups could obviously be refilled, but only in a tangible manner, and not without using Drainus Yourpocketus. I reluctantly nodded hurriedly in favor of the Goblet de Enourmo thinking I could swipe a troth for the ride and proceeded to pour from the soda fountain in a self righteous form of Helpus Yourselfus. I filled my massive drink cup, and I then sat down at a nearby booth complete with wheel bottomed chair in a mobile abode.
Just then the power went out and the maddening muzac was
ceased.
the incessant local winds provided much needed brownouts
and sheer blackouts in the area on an hourly basis
I then tried in vein to refill my bloody drink using the
electrified dispensing machine,
but it's lack of electrically-had current left me powerless
torefillupicup
So I waited
and I waited
and I waited
and I waited
and I waited
and finally the power never came back on. The guise behind the counter informed me that this sort of thing was common in these parts, hence the general wind-driven erosiomania in the area. He bestowed onto me a bottled Dr. Pepper gargantuan size and I was on my way...On my way to get me camera for pictures for insertion of said tale into here ole' bloggy-town. Population, you. I asked the grisly gratuitous gent if I could take pictures. He exclaimed "In Here??" in a bewildered tone and I was off on an internal twisted teetering tantrum of the tickled-pink type at the thought of this swiftly developing ludicroisness. Here I was at a national park surrounded by glorious natural wonders of the outdoor variety wanting to take pictures inside the restaraun-tay. The sheer exuberance I felt at my own ignorillity nearly crumpled me to the floor again in an anti-tumbling mass.
As I sat in the darkness and finished my lunch looking out at
the sights,
still chuckling insideI thought to myself that the gardens were quite remarkable...
until I realized that this is probably just weeds
that
popped up in prickly fashion as this is the desert.
For dessert I insinuated that the same rampant neglected weed overcropping
would crop a full crop-whopping $50 out of your wallet back east at the
local faun shop.
I then saw through the window some of the local fauna perched in some of the local fauna
This Fumbleweed of the genre Tumblinon Bigtroublinatree was haplessly perched as a nest of his own involuntary design. He had no eggs, or legs to undo this catast-roll-phe and was due to spend the rest of his days in this treegedy as a ready maid birds abode
Hey those two pictures look like they go together
let me try putting them together
Wow! That works pretty well. It looks like the same
tree!
The bird photo was from Texas and the Tumbleweed from Arizona!
Ok settle down back to the tumble-treed.
At this point I was crying laughing in the hamburger establo-joint after I saw this faunical scene. I tried to eat my lunch in piece. One piece at a time... just breathe. I was sitting there thoroughly enjoying my ex-cattle burger when I happened to steer my glance upon a glancing upward and saw the thing sitting there in all it's ranti-glory. I nearly spit out the mouthful of cow-food I was engrossing upon. The humerousnesslessnessless of the whole figuring of the fumbleweed figurine nearly brought me to my knees in a sniveling attempt to remain more or less more or less normal within the restaurantical social situation I was in. There was a Germanic family sitting in the booth next to me speaking some sort of Pig-Hebrew and I was trying my best not to laugh myself silly over the idle idol staring at me as as a hapless treed cat would the firefighter. As we all know that things get proportionately funnier in a situation where one has to restrain oneself from said laughter. This fractal faunical folly was too much to fauntificate and I was pretending to cry as it was a better emotion to try and pull of as the hilarity of the whole thing enveloped me and tortured me in a tartar out-of-control tickling tantrum. They looked at me as if I had three heads, tumbleheads, I was blocking my face, (mocking) tears running down as I contemplated the confined cacti caught cornily causing corrupt chaos within. It was pretty funny. I stuck french fries up my nose so that Familius Germahebrewis would have something else to focus on as my belligerant cackling caught me and bought me a large coke and cries. Eventually I settled down and explained in Pig-Elvish that my pet octopus had died in a bizarre ink licking inking accident. They like, didn't buy it so I was forced to squander away meekily.
The intergalactic tumbleweed entities were soaring at anatmos-fearic waist level due the brisk breezes, or more like relentless horrific gales. I honestly thought I was in a wind tunnel at one point...the point where I was teetering on the edge of the painted desert about to become a smear on this immaculate erosurpiece. I was trying in vein to get a decent bloody picture of the desert and had scurried up onto the ledge to get the shot. Bad idea, the whipping wind whipped me and tumble-meed around like a demented version of Thomas the tumbleweed. Without a track or clue as to their destination. (The massive and certainly weighty petrified logs nearly rolled away as involuntary participants as well in a demented, cemented log rolling competition of the most scarifiying kind) As for the rolling brillo-pads, I tried to capture their tumble-deeds but the incessant wind wouldn't allow it. Here is an attempt I made to capture said tumble-waana-bee on film-
As you can see the thing blew me away speed-wise and I was unable to get a picture of it
Just then another rolled past and I fumbled digit-ally-fingered but was unable to comply
This vehicle had no doubt been driven by just a girl
who
had the same tumble-trek as I had on the way in.
The hapless Tumblowski's wedged in under the bumper
as a free form grill-ride of the involuntary kind
There goes another one!!
Cr*p
This little fella was held in an involuntary two sided
prison
for tumbling under the influence (of the wind)
Eventually he did his time and pa-rolled away due to good behavior.
I saw some tumble-bee skeletal shreddings again
wallowing
in a corner with no lift, or ability to become rollborn.
I whisked the wannabe tumble weed leavings and swept
them
with a whisk broom into the wind with a curious courteousity
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onto-
"The Petrified Forest"
which left me stumped
The wind was plowing into me like a demented verizon
of Thomas the train engine. Paid up in all his smokey stacked wind-pipeddlyness.
This blowing I received from said fraid-winds was a growling ghasly
galing super-breeze witch threw me and thrust me in and out of the assaulting air as it cut through my
scare-id airlyness like a diamond saw through my skeletal remains which
formed dander cloud of sawdust which sandustyishly sprung from Sandusky
OH. MY GOD IT WAS BREEZY.
I was thankful not to have burned my winter coat as I donned it at dawn.
Then it dawned on me come dusk that it
wasn't dawn 'till
dusk near at all as it was 1:18pm.
It was a cold and winding windy trek through the park
but an exuberant walk on Mars.
The Martian winds blew me into the upper atmos-fear for my life.
Peter picked a peck of petrified-pine
pickled pinecones
(and I forget how the rest of that peppery dayku goes)
I stopped and pondificated the silently belligerent sign for an hour or two finally realizing that cramming this exclusive extra-hard hefty heaving wood into my wood-be truck wood be Ludi-crystallized, and prying said deadwood into my already vastly overloaded truck was simply out of the question. Even if these springing mineral-things were made of Solid Gold or K-Tel, I do record, and do tell and wood fell and refuse them entry into my packed-to-the-hilt Blazer.
I actually had a piece of petrified wood displayed in wood-be fashion in my office back at the gunny-farm and was trying to find a home for it as I didn't want to throw the blinking thing away. I wonder if they'd be upset if I were to leaf it there in all it's ex-leafiness. There is no sign indicating that one couldn't leave some petrified wood. After several hours of contemplation I retained wood, and nor erected or left no wood which was good and moved on so we'll move on as well.
Don't get flip with me I said we were moving on.
After finally moving on I was petrified to cross this
wind blown
involuntary barrier of the impetrified and out-o-place kind.
I was going to attempt to erect this felled non-petrafuana
but decided
against it as Ranger Rick was out and about.
(About to throw me in the slammer for blog-rolling)
I took a picture of the local signage
perched yet nailed to the top of some
involuntarily
vertical impetrified ex-fauna
(Signpost)
(I felt I had to define that one)
(n.)
I took the aforementioned informative sign picture not for your amusement as much as I myself wanted to read the above scantily clad sign, but the pontificating wind made it impossible to stand motionless long enough to survey said scribblings. I captured the image to read it later on in my ho-tel no-tell's warm glowing warming glow (total Simpsons ripoff)
The corporate government path lead tree irreverently through the "giant logs" area. This walking tour path fun tour was more in the likeness of a jogging path as would be spectators dashed around in a triathalon of frigidity racing around the tundral route in spectator sport fashion.
Below are the pictures I attempted to take while
running full tilt back into the
non-windy Jimdy and Cindy warmth of the petrified museum, which was quite
scared.
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Emergency blog exits have been furnished
and are
insisted upon by the local fraudernment
hey get back here
Once inside the museum I came a cross a real live
Petrasaurus.
He was no doubt - just a girl, probably petrified from
the cold gusting winds,
or perhaps it's because he was forged of Petra of Paris, or Petrazona in
this case.
In his day I'm sure he tasted like chicken-petrazinni to all his
carnivorous colleagues
I came across another government fraud attempt to
collect undue and
overdue taxation from already and unduly pocket-raped tourist tarppings.
This isn't that funny so let's move on
Alright alright I'll try my hand at it...hmm let's see... I was petrified to learn that petrified wood existed in all it's petro-glory in nearly all the states of minerativitty in the states of the union ringed tree onion.
"That's the best i can do" he said meekishly
with a lower
case and self-defacing "i " so let's move on
in a petrified manner.
I nearly sat down to work on the blog but thought better
of it as
Ranger Rick raised his randy head once more. I was quite petrified.
Around the bend-wa I happened upon another ballsy petri-critter or two in all their stationary glory encaged on an unnecessary inverted caging stage to keep out would be drooling Sasquachian tourists.
I happened upon the mishap of like thinking these
things were the
coin operated bouncy horses as appear in their natural habitat outside Wal*Mart
and was whisked away by the
S.W.A.T.T.I.N.G wind
(So Windy And
Torrential That I
Nearly Gregged)
I finally left the park and drove to Fagstaff, of which I was most concerned. Until I realized a glop of lunch had obscured the "L" in Fagstaff. I ultimately reached my destination only to receive a good butt-lashing from the ensnowing snewstorm.
Winter just won't escape me
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Saturday - 3/11/06
6:38am
Flagstaff, Arizona
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Today I spent nearly the entire day working on the blog as I was stuck here in Flagstaff in a snowstorm. It has snowed nearly a foot already and I wasn't about to head out into it for a white-knuckle drive.
I am still behind on my sleep so I am glad to have caught up a little and not have to load up the VSO gear the following morning. Arriving at the hotels around dinnertime and unloading everything is a daunting task which is described on the Amarillio TX page which is located here in case you haven't seen it. As I said I will be adding to the pages as I have a lot to talk about so check back if you need a distraction or want full updates on my progress. Back to the days events which were not that grand. As I said I spent much of the day in the hotel. Venturing out to get a sandwich from the local Quiznos sub shop. The snow was coming down in a fierce blinding blanket and I fought my way through it to go get lunch
After lunch I took a few of the obligatory pictures of the
VSO
perched haplessly in my hotel room. One is pictured below
I covered my equipment as best I could using the afghan my mom made for me (blanket) I did this to obscure said equipment from view to hide it from any would be rappers- by happening on a glance in my room. I may sound paranoid about the equipment but I feel it's better to be safe than sorry as if something were to happen to VSO I don't know what I'd do besides take up the bagpipes in a Nickish attempt to remain musical. I would no doubt modify the bagpipes to sound like a kazoo or other wind instrument as I seem prone to that sort of thing.
Check this out
What is so special about a bag of chips you ask? Well this bag of non-faunetical chips was inflated like a balloon in pillow-like fashion which I got at the Quiznos sub shop (who serve a divine meatball sub by the way) This bag of chips was bloated and near ready to explode so I asked the guy behind the counter what said deal was with the bag.
He informed me that backs of corporate novelty snacks such as this one tended to inflate (or appear inflated) due to the high elevation in the area. This dumbfounded me for a macrosecond until I realized that it made sense. The high altitude caused the air to thin out and the air in the bag is under pressure to seek escape to balance it's equilibrium into the surrounding air. I am glad I asked the guy what the deal was as I find it quite micro-fascinating. I then proceeded in my non-altitudical ignorance and asked if the bags ever popped. He said they did and I was delighted to watch this bag pop, so I waited.
and I waited
and I waited
But the bag never popped. I was hungry so I opened it and the air from a lower-cale rushed in my face in all it's sour cream and oniony glory. This is the type of stuff I would like to encounter on my journey. The heck with the vast grand landscapes..give me an over-inflated bag of chips to ponder and I'll be happy. Which I am.
I then went outside again to get the maps
still sitting on my cold and hungry truck's front seat
While on this Mapquest I removed the snow from my
truck
which was something I thought I'd seen the last of
I Think Not
Therefore I am snowed in
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Sunday - 3/12/06
8:27pm
Flagstaff, Arizona
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Well the snow finally stopped.
I plan to try to go to the grand canyon tomorrow but I have to check local road conditions to make sure it's alright to drive after the storm. Today was pretty uneventful. I slept late (6:30am) Pictured below is the hotel I am staying at in Flagstaff
I went out early afternoon
took a ride to the grocery store,
Chinese buffet for late lunch/early dinner, and to rent a movie.
The mountain just outside town was quite beautiful covered in newly fallen snow
I wanted to rent a video to watch on my Playstation 2 which I don't use for games anymore but kept it as a DVD player. I went to blockbuster and they didn't have the movie I wanted. Crash - a newer movie about racism set in L.A. This movie was an eye opener and definitely made an impact. I ended up going to the local $5 Chinese buffet and a video store next door which I applied membership for just to rent the movie. I also went to get groceries, or more accurately some snacks for the ride(s) ahead as rest stops tend to have high priced vending machines. I ate my linner (lunch/dinner) take out buffet and sat down to relax and watch the movie.
Anyone who has seen this movie will appreciate the following pictures.
Racism is an evil which is escaped by no one
It strangles us
and pulls us away
cages us
and keeps us apart
although we all have the same hopes and dreams
In the end, when all else is
stripped away, we have an inherent
love for each other which we seem to fight daily to push away
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nto
the Flogging...
So after cleaning the glacial iceberg off my truck
I decide to go out into the snow investigate the area.
I go head off down the exit of the hotel only to realize
I had picked the
right hotel just having come from Mars, a.k.a. the Petrified forest
Then I headed to the local grocery store to buy some ziplock bags for the mystery unbagged and bagless cords that magically appeared in my red mothership cord bag.
The other cords must have reproduced or budded along
the way
as I was sure I had an individual bag for every cord when I left.
Back to our story-
Upon
entering the local grocery store I noticed the same
bag-pillowing effect on the local
fauna-chips
I stopped and wondered if this caused any problems for stocking inventory as the inflated bags took up more room on the shelves. I'm sure said grocery store sold out of airtight bagged items much quicker than the little red boxes.
(for a minute there I thought I was back at the
Stack's but they have much more cereal than this)
The balloons seemed to be doing alright
off now to Blockbuster video. My most hated of all video
corporate
movie dispensers to rent the movie I so desperately wanted to watch.
Of course, as usual they didn't have it
^%$#*^%$*#
So I head up the highway to the Chinese buffet
This place was a trip. Not only a trip in the wrong, and easterly direction, but the atmpos-fear inside was a chaotic conglomeration. There were people from wall to wall and the folks running the place were immersed in a triathalon of waitressity. I think everyone in Flagstaff was there. I waited for a full 2 minutes (an eternity with my A.D.D.) and finally the nice queen-bee Asian hostess waited on me. She informed me that I could have a drink to go, which was unheard of to my eastern ears. I packed the styrofoam container she bestowed on me with a hungry vigor at the barely lukewarm enormuffet tables. I pile a monstrous amount of morsels in a cupboard raiding frenzy.
My portion was quite mountainous.
I also grabbed a cup of soft serve ice cream for the road, stuffed into a soup cup she gave me. I opted the ice cream over the soup. Skipping ahead, I didn't want to eat the ice cream until later so I kept it cold using the convenient ice dispensed by the hotel.
After realizing I was still utterly bored I proceeded
to
notice the top lid of my styrofoam buffet container
After getting my Chinese Styrofoam glee-box I
noticed another local dispenser of the DVD genre.
This place was great. Not only was there a
super-cutie of the incredible kind behind the counter
but I asked her if the movie was available and she said
she had one copy left.
While waiting for her to wait on another customer I noticed this
alertment which I thought was quite the unpainted masterpiece
Of course when I got back to the hotel, the DVD didn't work in my PS2, so I called said cutie back and she informed me that she was unable to give me a refund for my money but I would be able to pick out another movie selection to entertain myself. I went back up the wrong way to the video dispensing lot and when I arrived she informed me in all her cuteliness that she she had found another copy of said Crash video. (I'm sure she went out and bought it just for me as she was such an ultra-cuite) All dreaming aside I snatched the video and geared back to the hotel where I sat down to eat dinner and watch the over-talked about movie.
I ate the near whole happy-meal save a teryaki or two
I was Flag-stuffed.
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Monday - 3/13/06
10:09am
Flagstaff, Arizona
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Today I will head due North to the grand canyon. The drive is about 85 miles and the roads are clear. I will take my time nonetheless. I plan to head due South to Phoenix, AZ afterwards and find a hotel there. This will be the last hotel before getting to LA. I plan to use my Choice rewards points to get a free stay on this last night. After that, tomorrow morning I will head to LA on rte 10 west and hope to stop at Joshua Tree National Park for lunch. The ride should be pretty easy, the snow will be gone and it's only 300 miles to LA from Phoenix.
There will be no ranting this morning due to the brisk
lonely
feeling I have here in the stark mountains of Flagstaff
"So maybe tomorrow....I'll find my way home"
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