Welcome to the new VSO blog. 

    Blog - Short for weblog. A journal (or newsletter) that is frequently updated and intended for general public consumption. Generally representing the personality of the author of the Web site.

It's the the latest craze, and a great way to keep up with your [hopefully] favorite one-man-real-time-digital-midi-band. Come back often as I will be updating thusly. Be sure to hit the refresh button until I figure out how to auto refresh. 

Thanks always for your support, feel free to contact me 

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Gear Modifications
Film Scoring
Guitar Lessons
Practice!!
Get groceries
Website update
When is he leaving?

Friday - 1/20/06 

12:10pm

   Today I will be recording clips for a documentary which I am scoring which is being produced by a student at Northeastern University. I have been advertising on craigslist and have had great response to this new killer application of the VSO. Another film project featuring stunts, Skateboards, motorcycles, etc. is in the works and will be a great opportunity to try my hand at real time scoring of an action type production. The real-time controllability of the VSO lends itself well to making quick, high quality soundtracks and scores of every type musical genre. I also feel the VSO should be included in the stunt film, not to put it on wheels per say, but it is pretty extreme.

Later on I will program the VSO and practice the Big band/Swing I quite literally just stumbled upon yesterday while practicing the theme to Looney Tunes. Last year I bought the Brass expansion module for one of my synths and had never really gotten around to using it. Man was I missing out. This has to be potentially the most realistic and convincing sound yet produced by the VSO. Crude MP3 demo download here 

Recently I have started giving guitar lessons again and have a student this afternoon. I must repost my ad on craigslist for that, thanks for reminding me.

The long awaited and much needed VSO demo DVD filming will be taking place tomorrow. I will surely comment on that and other things further.

I just got back from the gym where I worked out my abdomen and did some cardio. I have found that breaking up cardio into shorter workouts is a lot better. Instead of say 30 minutes on the treadmill, I now do 10 minutes on the treadmill, 10 on the elliptical, 10 on the stairclimber etc. It really breaks up the routine and somehow I'm able to go much longer.

well I've run out of things to say so I'll resort to - Nice weather huh? no really..

Thanks for your time
-VSO

Saturday - 1/21/06 

7:06pm

nothing to report 

3:18pm

Well, continuing in the tradition of high technology, the videoshoot was a wash. For some reason the camera wasn't picking up the low end from my audio outputs and we couldn't figure it out so we didn't do any shooting after all. We plan to go into a real studio and do it right in the near future. We did have a good time checking out all the sounds I have going in the VSO though.

10:39am

While on the way to home depot this morning I realized that I should update my new blog. The parents of the homeowner are here cleaning in prep to sell the house, and I went to home depot to get some trash bags. They bought me a coffee. Or hot chocolate rather. I hate coffee, except coffee ice cream but that's another subject entirely. Plus they didn't actually buy me the coffee so we're off to a bad start. I'll begin again

While on the way to home depot this morning I realized today is the shooting of the VSO demonstration DVD and a friend of a friend is coming by to shoot some footage for a few hours. This is going to be a key element in my moving forward with a tangible demonstration of the project which is hopeless to explain to someone without seeing it. I am all set for the shoot pretty much, and I'm looking forward to it. Moreso I'm looking forward to this guy seeing it, we'll call him Mike, wait that won't work, his name is Mike, we'll call him Dave to protect his anonominity, wow that's a tough word to type, and to spell. That and aluminum, now that's a hard one to type, try it. 

Last night was a revelation with the  Film scoring. The student from Northeastern university sent some demo clips from other soundtracks to provide me a basis for the feel of the pieces he was looking for. Now he has agreed to make a VSO demo DVD as well as he seems pretty enthused about the project. So now I face the dilemma of telling him I'm all set, or go forward and do a second DVD. You can never have too many demo DVD's..right..?

Well I gotta go, the guy just called and he's on his way. More later after the shoot.

Monday - 1/23/06 

9:35pm

Today I spent most of the day patching the VSO. I plan to make all the different styles of music accessible as quickly and seamlessly as possible. I hope to make 64 main banks all broken down in groups of 10 as follows over my main bank switch pedal. So far I have created [most of] the orchestral bank which has been a lot of trial and error [and viola and cello]

The numbers are upside down due to bad planning on my part, and moreso because that's the way the switching pedal is set up. 

Not that anyone cares but the bank descriptions are below.

solo orchestra - footpedals containing strings and cellos with switchable solo instruments on the guitar; oboe, flute etc. Used primarily for segway and softer orchestral parts. 

Symphony 1-4 - Incorporates the concept of switching between different degrees of loudness or fullness experienced during an authentic orchestral performance. Symphony 1 is contains about 2/3 of the instruments in a traditional orchestra, and the volume levels are lower than in following patches. Symphony 2 and 3 add instruments and volume levels until switched to full blown orchestra 4 containing all instruments and sections at maximum level.

String sections - Allows placting different string sections at different octaves for  the upper and lower extremities. Footpedals contain low string section, lower register notes on the guitar are scaled to lower strings, high to high strings and so on which  reproduce the sound of different string sections in an orchestral setting.

harpsichorch - Truthfully I haven't programmed this yet, A harpsichord sound at the hands and feet with orchestra (strings/horns) backing.

Waltz - Pizzicato bass on footpedals, Cellos on low register guitar strings, strings and horns at middle register, piccilo and flute at high register. A generalized performance patch for performing

Animated Orch - Initially created to perform the theme from looney tunes, has universal application for cartoon/animated music

Percussive orch - As titled, a percussive orchestra. This is another one I have yet to program..now where did I put that kettle drum...suggestions?

Apart from that I was dabbling in Opera this afternoon. using my vocal processor to pitch my voice down an octave (-12) for male tenor parts, and 2 octaves (+24) for female soprano parts. The processor allows for gender shifting, don't tell my mom. I started to look for an opera to learn but I started improvising an opera instead, which may be a first. I was singing in some form of Germanic Italian which was actually just me reciting different types of gourmet cheeses in a psuedo-european accent. It actually turned out pretty well, just ask the neighbors. It turned out so well in fact I had to stop almost immediately due to the ridiculous nature of the whole thing.

This afternoon I also mounted my strat on a free standing gracie guitar stand positioned in front of me. Now I am able to play two guitars at the same time, or be my own rhythm guitarist. To do this properly I would have to have a rolling capo and and extra arm growing out of my forehead which I am working on tomorrow...be sure to check back for that one...

I gave a guitar lesson to a promising student this evening. I have been taking on students again for some income during the transition here.

Other than that it snowed today a lot more than expected. Luckily I didn't have to shovel as the neighbor had a snow blower and was good enough to snowblow when I wasn't looking. Either that or the sonics from the VSO melted the snow off the driveway, which gives me an idea, gotta run...

Tuesday - 1/24/06 

3:14pm

Today (and last night) I worked on a few more songs for my pop/rock cd. It's painfully easy with my technique of using the captions for the hearing impaired scrolling by on the TV set to grab words and phrases for lyrics to compile song ideas from while I play. As I am the whole band there is no discussion necessary and I can just go any direction at any time without the drummer whining that he doesn't like it. I can improvise breaks, leads , choruses, bridges all on the fly apparently without a problem. The only drawback is that I noticed while attempting this watching the weather channel the other day all the songs seemed to be about rain or sunshine or the occasional tornado. This is somewhat limiting but also breaks new ground for theme/concept albums.

Apart from that I went to the mall to get a new florescent bulb for the blacklight mounted above my pedals. It broke when I dropped a mouse on it. Not a small furry mouse, nor even a computer mouse, but a midi mouse like this one- http://www.musiciansfriend.com/product?sku=704450 
It turned out that Spencer gifts, my blacklight supplier, has been closed in the Natick mall, so any of you blacklight fanatics will  have to find another source like I do. If you know where I can get and 18" blacklights (bulb only) kindly let me know

I have had requests for more guitar lessons, if anyone out there in cyberspace wants lessons let me know! Hands or feet, it's all good. Also if anyone reading this wants a VSO demo concert let me know. I just love playing it for people. 

oh another thing- I created a new piano patch that my friend Mike (Dave) inspired. I simply put low piano notes on the footpedals to act as left hand, and middle/high piano notes on the guitar for right hand parts. It's pretty ridiculous, let me tell you.

Other than that on a piano related subject, a friend bought the piano out of this house...you know who you are.  

Wednesday - 1/25/06 

7:12 pm

Is it really 7:12 already? wow. Today I got yet another job scoring a 5 minute short film to be entered in a worldwide college short film festival. I will start the music now

7:13 pm

ok I'm finished. This film scoring thing is a piece of cake. I can churn the stuff out like unwanted sewage. In fact recently I discovered that I don't even have to sit down to specifically record the music. While I toil with the vso, both practicing and patching (creating sound banks) I always record myself. Much of the "scrap" music I come up with is perfect for short segways and/or sound effect parts that are completely useable. I can just rummage through the "trash can" so to speak, dust off the virtual coffee grounds and toenail clippings and send the music on it's way, only to thrill the recipient. Much of the music for these new projects I will do for real and not resort to pulling them out of the trash but it goes to show you how easy something can be with the right tools. I just came up with a name for this technique- "scrapsonics". Hey.. that could be the name of my new film scoring company- "Scrapsonix" our motto could be "One man band's trash is another man's treasure" or something to that effect.

The student producing this particular film came in second place in this film festival last year so hopefully with the help of the VSO he will get first place this year. Even if he doesn't win I hope to get him to help spread the word a bit more about the VSO and it's killer application in the film scoring arena.

Other than that Sunday is the day for the VSO DVD videoshoot. We are going into the studio for a few hours to get a better quality video so I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed that it will go well. I hope we don't run into more than the usual 275 technical problems in the process as I will be paying for studio time. i got a deal on it as my friend Mike is doing the editing virtually free. I'll leave it up to you whether or not the pun was intended.

Friday - 1/27/06 

10:16am

wow I just realized the hit counter on this blog page here says 99 people have visited so far! Of course 98 of those hits are probably just me checking to see how many people have hit the page so thank you whoever you are!

10:16am

Cold, the cold 
the endless cold
If I were old
and not so bold
my frame would fold
and this...I told

Man is it cold. Is it just me? Or is it just cold? I think it's both. Today I have to bring my truck to get fixed yet again as the ABS (All Bull Shit) brake system is acting up and I almost rear ended a woman coming out of CVS parking lot

CVS
CVSO
CVSO Run
Run, VSO, Run...

This woman I almost plowed into was taking a REALLY long time inside the store at the checkout counter so it wouldn't have been the end of the world if I had indeed rear ended her. So now I have to get that fixed.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY W.A. MOZART!

It's Mozart's 250th birthday celebration today. Google had this up today for a logo and it nearly killed me-

I do believe I will now pay homage to the man and play every piece of his that I have (1,167 files) as loud as possible through my massive VSO Mackie PA system with subwolfie.

Tuesday - 1/31/06 

10:07pm

I can't believe it's been, what, 4 days since I've updated this blog..? I promised myself I'd update every day for at least a month, boy how time flies. 

VSO was just searching Craigslist Los Angeles looking for potential gigs while Greg made a snack. I (we) came across an ad posted by a grad student looking to make a short film. I hate to go on about the killer app of the VSO film scoring but I will indulge myself and all you 129 readers, which are mostly me anyway. I saw his post on craigslist which read- 

"I'm looking for a composer to score my student project. It's called "The Struggle of a Tortoise". It's part fantasy, part drama. I'm looking for something very elegant and simple. I don't want too many instruments or loud music of any kind. I'm open to ideas"

So I sent him an email reply saying I'd like to talk to him about it. So then I went back to watching the Terminator, which I have been watching over and over for weeks now because I'm too lazy to put in another movie. I don't even like it. The terminator that is. It's Terminator 3 actually. At one point I was listening to the commentary of Arnold talking about his deltoids and he seemed really into it. Saying how he had to come within .02% of his original body fat to live up to the shape he was in for the first movie. Actually I will record it now, I wanted to when I heard it because it was so funny, that and I have no life. Download here You have to realize this isn't Hanz & Franz, it's really him. Wow he's into it. But look who's talking. I'm not into VSO much am I?, let me go on about it for 20 minutes. Alright I seem to have wandered a bit...I should get away from Shwarzneggria and back to my story about this new film score guy (and I feel weird referring to him without talking to him yet)

Right after I sent this guy an email about the scoring I started thinking about his theme of the Tortise struggle and thought that a bassoon would represent the awkward, almost comic movements of a tortise. I went over to the VSO and dialed up the Bassoon and came up with htis little theme in less than the time it took to write about Arnold, the new governor of the state I'm moving to...yikes. So I came up with this little theme in about 5 minutes Download here and sent it off to him. Not sure he'll like it, or even hate it, but this killer app goes on...

Ok so this guy (I still feel bad talking about him) wanted a soundscape similar to that of the movie "Birth". I am not much of a moviegoer anymore mainly due to the cost so I didn't know what the score sounded like. So I simply went to Amazon.com and found the soundtrack and listened to the demo clips. So now I have a vast online library through Amazon and several other similar websites as a reference for any future requests for scores and soundtracks.

Guess what? I have finally set a date to move. I pan to stay here until Feb. 15th and head out to the west coast after my nephew's birthday party on the 18th. I have had it with the cold. I hate to go on about it but my feet have been cold for 3 months. The rest of me too but my frigid feet are really getting to me. As you know my feet are an integral part of this endeavor and they have been hating life. When I get to LA for the first two days I am going to stand on the beach with my feet buried in the hot sand. I won't just stand there either. You know when you scurry across the sand at the beach going "oh" "oh" "that's hot" and your feet burn and you look for an area of shade to stand in...not me...I'm going to be walking around and moving if I stand too long in one place and my feet start to cool off. I may even become a firewalker, I'll just add it into the VSO act..

Is this blog too much for you? It really does tend to go off a little, but that's my personality I guess, and the definition of Blog clearly states, and I quote, "Generally representing the personality of the author or the Web site" ...so there

Wednesday - 2/01/06 

11:43am

Hey there. Not to start out on a bad note, and although I'm in a great mood today, am generally annoyed at the moment. Why oh why is it that old women have to count exact change when paying for items at the cash register? I can't figure this out. maybe you can help me,  I can understand if something costs $4.05 that you would fish around for a nickel, but if something costs $12.87 PLEASE don't rummage around your pocketbook for 11 minutes trying to come up with exact change. Ok other than that why is Jennifer Aniston on every single cover of people and USA today and the National enquirer? (The only reason I notice this because I was waiting for this lady in front of me to count her change)(duh) This has been going on for months now...I have noticed Aniston on every publication sitting there on the shelves short of the Want Ad and Farmers almanac, but I bet she's in the Almanac donning some overalls or some sh*t. Is she really that exciting? I loved her in the movie Office Space but this is getting out of hand. As far as the music goes and some sort of tangible point to this blogging adventure here; I am going to practice now and wail-out like the Dickens. More later, If you're lucky.

Thursday - 2/02/06 

7:41pm

Ok my mom said she is going to visit this blog page so I have to tone it down a bit... Ah the heck with it....if she doesn't know I'm nuts by now I don't know what to tell her. So I finally figured it out- I am not a sound engineer. Nor am I a drummer, stage lighting technician, bass player, singer, roadie, cellist, bagpiper, or even guitarist really. I merely pretend to be all these things while I toil with the VSO. While singing (especially using my pitching vocal processor) I experienced some unruly feedback from the sound coming back into my microphone. This was accentuated with the vocal processor I use which essentially pitches a vocal part or splits it and pitches it into up to a 4 part harmony. All of us have heard that "sqeeeewwwonk" microphone feedback at a public performance using a mic and P.A. system (speakers mom, speakers) and we all know how annoying it can be. Picture that multiplied times 4 and screeching right in your face as is was doing through my monitors. I had all three mackie SRM 450's wedged upwards and facing me as I like to play with a full sound. This setup was indeed full-sounding  but was causing a lot of microphone feedback. In retrospect it's easy to see what the problem was but I just couldn't figure it out. Below is a picture of how my speakers (P.A. mom, P.A.) were set up prior to my ISC (Incredibly Simplistic Revelation)

In a flash of brilliance I decided to try to aim the speakers away from the mic, keeping them in essentially the same place but angled differently. Apparently the low end was the main culprit in making the feedback occur and by standing the speakers upright I was able to all but eliminate unwanted feedback which had been plaguing my practice sessions. The woofers (low end) are now facing my feet instead of my head. After rearranging the speakers and turning down the volume of the center monitor I was able to have the best of both worlds, a rich inspiring sound to play to without the extraneous garbled noise and feedback. It sounds better than ever now. Of course for live performance with an audience the two outer speakers would be facing the crowd so none of this would be an issue. Below is a picture of how my speakers are set up now.

     As you can see (besides the fact that I need to vacuum) this setup works out much better. 

                    Below is a picture of how stupid I was not to realize this before

     I have also worked out a graph to indicate my stupidity as well to drive the point home:

Illustrated above, you will see this flash of brilliance is merely temporary and I plan to going back to being just as stupid as I was originally starting tomorrow, and maybe even a little more stupid according to the graph. In the meantime I am enjoying newfound wisdom fully while it lasts before the numbness sets in again.

Apart from that I spent much of the day arranging my performances (instrument setups) I have been adjusting volumes to provide for more realistic and dynamic transitions during songs. I'll start with a performance with a light drum set and light guitar sound. Then during the chorus parts (when the tune generally gets fuller/louder) I programmed banks to reflect that feel, turning up the instrument levels. At the same time I have to work the lightshow which is an integral part to the whole thing. It's all coming together though. More dynamic, realistic and feedback free than ever. Well I'm going to go practice again. I have only been at it 5 hours today which isn't nearly long enough to keep this whole thing together.

I just had a craving for fish sticks. You know, the breaded kind...I hate fish sticks...what's going on here..?

All fish sticks aside (and before I get back to practicing) on a personal note I am really enjoying going to the gym lately. I have been losing weight and wondering why. Then it hit me that I've been in the gym for more than an hour a day for the last 6 months at least. I gave up long ago trying to be Mr. Universe, or even Mr. Anybody, and went to the gym mainly for the emotional impact. It really improves my mood and overall well being. I suppose It stands to reason that if you work out enough you will eventually get in better shape. Somehow that fact eluded me as the previously described speaker setup did. So I'm glad for both. My primary goal with working out and getting in shape is akin to that of an astronaut- Getting in shape in preparation for a flight into orbit. Which is no doubt where I'm headed. Over and out.

Friday - 2/03/06 

1:30pm

Well I have had some feedback about my blog page here and everyone said they were entertained by it in one way or another. Some laughed, some cried, some were just confused, but all were entertained. So my job is done here..or just beginning really. I have decided to organize the page a little better for those who want to read about the music stuff and skip over the incidental content including but not limited to observations, reflections, and general whining. Different folks visit the page for different reasons so I am here doing my best to accommodate you all.

Therefore I will break discussions up into the following groups arranged by font/text color:

    Text in yellow will be general VSO information, schedule etc.

    Text in red fonts will be more technical related VSO information

    Text in white fonts will be personal accounts

    Text in blue fonts will be discussions on politics

I was on craigslist LA a little while ago looking at the vast amount of opportunities for the VSO out on the west coast. Everything from playing coffeehouses, clubs, doing movie scoring, work as a studio musician to ruling the planet. The list goes on and on. I think the film scoring is the way to go at first. This is an easy avenue and will allow me plenty of time to hang out on the beach. Of the scores I have done so far I think writing about them on this blog page has taken more time than doing the actual scoring. It is a lot of fun too let me tell you. Much more fun than having a real job. 

VSO was practicing as usual earlier and messing around with the vocal processor. We (I) figured out if I (we) turned off the other harmonies and just used one voice paired with my own that it made my singing a whole lot better. My vocal ability has been improving gradually (through practice) and I have been almost pleased with some of the vocal parts I am pulling off. Using the processor has helped a great deal though. If nothing else it got me to open my mouth and sing which is 80% of any new endeavor- just trying it. Believe it or not, and I tell this to my guitar students, no matter how bad you think you sound, you will sound a little less bad every time you play. This isn't the most encouraging statement, and I usually word it differently, but it is very true. When I first got my footpedals it sounded like a drunken goat stumbling through a chamber recital. With practice I have become not quite as awful as I had been in the past and we'll leave it at that.

I have continued to organize all of my worldly belongings in to an ever decreasing pile. Boy let me tell you it is hard to get rid of stuff. I have sold so much on craigslist and ebay in the past 3 months you wouldn't believe it. I still have a pile of extraneous stuff that I don't really need. I am convinced that having extra stuff clutters up brain space as well. As we all know I need every brain cell blazing to carry on with this ViSiOn of mine. I have a small tv stand, several empty milk crates, an old cassette deck and some other things that are basically useless but are still hard to part with. Not so much for sentimental value as they have none really (except the milk crates) but I just hate to throw things away that are at all useable. This has been a nagging factor in trimming my belongings down to manageable and moveable size. Apart from the VSO (which takes up 98% of my truck) I only plan to bring my laptop pc, clothes, and favorite pillow. I will also try to fit myself into the truck. If I am unable to I will simply point the truck west, put a brick on the accelerator and watch the whole project speed off into the distance. At this point I'm convinced the VSO will make it big on the west coast with or without me. Following this dilemma of getting rid of unwanted items I have promised myself never again to accumulate useless things in the future as I feel more relief as each material possession is unloaded.  

Unfortunately I don't have much to say about politics. It's all very confusing to me and when I do watch CNN it's to get song lyric ideas off the closed caption subtitles. Usually it's too depressing so I change back to the weather channel...or The Terminator. 

Well I guess that works alright but it's a little drab, I'll spice it up a bit:

Today I arranged my controller array a little better to shave time off my switching during songs.   My God I thought, if I could use my Morley A/B switch I could reduce the space that my digitech loop pedal took up and not only reduce the area it took up (helping with ergonomics) but the switch is easier to depress making goof ups less likely. (if I miss a beat, measure, note, button change mid-song there is a high probability of musical derailment. The picture below is highly classified..not that anyone would understand it...including me, but it shows how streamlined and ergonomic the whole VSO switching process has become. This is essential for live performance and controlling nuances and part switching in the real time setting. This arrangement with the morley A/B switch allows me to run an extra looping or droning audio (1/4" plug) signal into the "B" side of the switch and am able to go back and forth between the two or even layer them on top of each other. This is one of those instances where I have come up with a solution in search of a problem so to speak in that future uses of this technique may prove revolutionary. This won't be the first time.

Ok that's a little confusing to read. I don't think that will work either.....Let me try again:

Well this color coordinating  concept isn't working out that well so I'm signing off for now. You have to admit that last one was quite a patriotic read.. despite that there aren't nearly enough stripes.

Friday - 2/03/06 

7:13pm

"Far better it is to dare Mighty things..
Than to take rank with those poor, timid spirits
who knew neither victory nor defeat

-Theodore Roosevelt, 1899

Saturday - 2/04/06 

1:11pm

Look at that, 1:11. Well it didn't take long for me to figure out a killer application for the Morley A/B switching box I mentioned in the multicolored text below. See if you can follow. It's not that hard. just very exclusive. It's also only one color. Previously I used my digitech loop pedal to loop signature background clips (demo sample here)(sound familiar?)(btw this isn't really cheating even though it is a looped or pre-recorded part. It may be in the eyes of the purist advocate of real-time solo music generation which also happens to be me so I'm telling you it's alright.)(In essence the band "the Who" would have played along with the same little loop which was computer generated off-stage) The on/off switch on the digitech loop pedal is tough to engage (because it was meant to be used with a foot, and my feet are busy) So I routed the audio signal to an A/B switching box as described below (if you can make it through that birthday confetti of a paragraph) and was able to incorporate a second audio signal which was just sitting there empty on the "B" side of the switch. An empty or unused audio output is not a common thing here at VSO INC. It had been in the back of my mind exactly what to do with this incidental new option since it's inception last night. I figured out I can take the output of my drone synthesizer (used to drone single notes in the background. (Demo here) Also not cheating in my eyes but definitely adds fullness to the performance.)(Back to the cheating thing for a sec, or I guess we never got away from it really..but to heck with it, I have played Mozart's symphony #25 in real time using my hands and feet and only omitting 62% of the actual orchestral instrument parts so cut me some slack here!! If I want to loop a few things or even use a friggin' drum machine I've done my time!!! Who am I arguing with? Certainly not you) Back to our story- I was able to run the separate outputs of my synthesizer into the "B" side of the switch and now I can have either a drone or a loop to choose from (with easier physical switching) or I can even layer the drone and the loop, but I haven't tried that. In fact I haven't tried any of this, but I know it will work. I'm going to execute the plan now, I'll tell you how it goes. I need to eat too, I'm starving, which reminds me (and anyone is welcome to stop reading at any time) I bought this Cabot cheddar cheese and Cape Cod Oatmeal bread. I've found Cape Cod bread to be the best, and therefore most unhealthy of all the breads but that's why I sit sniffing banana fumes at the gym. This bread and cheese will make a killer grilled cheese I bet in combination with my favorite Progresso soup (Chickarina)(I like anything related to chicks). Ass you can see, yes ass, I've sold out already and have started to accept royalties for advertising here on my web blog. Not really but Try Cabot cheese and Progresso soup! It really hit's the spot! Oh and Cape Cod bread but they don't have a website to link to... How could any large or even mid sized business not have a website? What... don't they have enough bread? Ok I'm done, this going waaay off and I'm starving....we'll have to settle for this. 

Saturday - 2/04/06 

5:10pm

     "There are problematic solutions to our problems" - Greg Kreinsen, 2006

Well I tried the looping/droning setup and it didn't work. Actually it did work but not the way I'd originally intended/hoped. Apparently the secondary audio outputs on my synth need to have individual performance parts (instruments)(16 total) routed to either the Standard mix outputs I use, or the direct outputs (going to the Morley A/B) but not both. This is the typical baffoonery I run into dealing with this whole project, finding ways around insurmountable audio problems.  Of course I already found a way around it. I can simply have the performance contain two droning parts, one sending to the mix as usual, and one to the direct out. This setup works but isn't as streamlined and it does have some bugs that inevitably came up. Ultimately the best configuration is if both outputs had the ability to be activated simultaneously but that's the factory's de-fault, not mine.  

8:19pm

Alright I think I have a gig. An odd gig but a gig. In a record store in South Natick. Tentatively planned for next Saturday, February 11th, at Deja Vu records in South natick, this time with a lower case n. Not sure day/afternoon/evening but it shouldn't be a morning gig, unless there's a buffet. I will expect all my devout fans to be there. There will be two chairs provided so you can bring someone with you. This kind woman who owns and runs the record store said she wanted a full-on concert and not just light background orchestral music so we'll see her reaction to a full blown Bubble O'Riley. I may get arrested and/or deported but it will be worth it. Further info will follow, along with the usual zaniness.

This is great. I've been tired of all the tunes I listen to, especially while working out, and there seems to be a lull musically at this period in history... the calm before the storm I'm guessing. Anyway I have been writing and recording songs on the fly to entertain myself at the gym and driving around. it's amazing, I can sing about anything I want that will entertain me. Even go over my grocery list vocally with a banging techno beat behind it and kill two birds with one stone. Well I didn't do that, but I will now. That reminds me I need to put one of my final items on ebay, talk amongst yourself while I'm away.

8:35pm

As always this ebay thing is great. I listed my item in less than 5 minutes, it's so ebsy! It can be viewed here for the next 7 days starting.....................now

Sunday - 2/05/06 

8:35am

                                      Is this too much foot powder to use?    

                                       


     Because if it is I DON'T CARE! That's how much I'm using! Just try and stop me! Of all my praises of going to the gym I neglected to mention an awful downside to the whole experience. About two months ago I contracted the most rippin' case of athletes foot EVER and I know it came from the gym. Mind you this was no small deal, it affected my VSO practicing during a key period, as humorous as we all know that is. This particular athletes foot bacteria must have been a killer strain akin to the flesh eating ebola virus but on a far more horrific yet smaller scale... Confined to a slimy puddle on the tiled floor of the shower area in the locker room at my gym. I remember being in a good mood walking to the shower, reflecting on the invigorating and banana free workout session I'd just had. Suddenly while walking to the shower I stepped into this, until recently, not-so-ominous puddle (which is still there mind you)(although soon it may slither away on it's own) I could feel it's lukewarm bacterial presence seep in between my toes as I plunged my unwary foot into it. I thought to myself, "hmm, that was extra gooey", but didn't think too much of it at the time. Sure enough two days later I had the most raging athlete's feet ever, and I'm no athlete. I know it came from the gym I go to, which shall remain drainless. It took a week of heavy Desonex-ing to ward off the infection which, all humor aside, really was painful. Almost debilitating. I'm convinced if I hadn't broke out the foot powder immediately I'd now have stumps for legs and the bacteria would have kept heading north so to speak until I was reduced to a bad toupee. So since then I wear flip flops in the gym shower, well not flip-flops, they are my old beach/boat wet shoes as I am too cheap to shell out the $1.99 for some new flip-flops. I do seem to be buying a lot of animal crackers lately though, but those are only $1.39.. The Nabisco/Barnum's kind, not the generic tub like at BJ's, those are no good, but the little red boxes...I love those things, but I know from experience that those little red boxes don't work as shower shoes. It turns out the crackers themselves are even more ill-suited to the task. Come to think of it they aren't really crackers as much as cookies are they? Unless you also include those chocolate chip crackers I was munching on earlier. I'm open to Flip-flop donations, although truthfully I prefer the $100 Reebok Dennis Rodman bright green glow in the dark pump Hip-Flop with lojack which doesn't exist yet but no doubt will someday so hit me up. In conclusion I don't want to take away from the total gym experience, it really is a great thing and the smell of the liquid soap they dispense in the shower is, to me, the scent of victory.....and the agony of de feet.

Sunday - 2/05/06 

8:21pm

Well due to server issues my blog updating was on hold most of the day, which was probably a good thing for all involved. Today I came across the most amazing thing. My vocal processor (which I will no doubt be very vocal about) has the ability to hold the backup harmony vocals allowing me, or anyone really, to sing on top of a pre-sustained vocal part. After painstaking trial and error using different footswitches I was finally able to get it to happen. I'd sing into the mic, hold the footswitch down, and the simulated/processed backing harmonies that are pitched off my voice would freeze and sustain upon holding the footswitch. (pictured below) forgive my bed-head, it was 6:30 on sunday morning...I know, get a life buddy...and a haircut...

The first footswitch I tried, which is the one pictured that I'm holding, wasn't appropriate as it needed to be physically held down to sustain. It turns out I don't have many unused limbs left to hold a footswitch down so that wasn't the best setup for me. I do have one extra limb but it can't be controlled as such in real-time and isn't too appropriate for public performance. I usually reserve that one for private part-ies. My friend and analog switching guru tech had previously fashioned a momentary hold switch for another VSO application and this one turned out to be just the ticket to pull off the new sustaining harmony feature. Apparently the toggle he'd crafted had some kind of magical latch feature instead of a standard on/off switch, but that's beyond me, and why he is the analog switching guru and I am not. Per usual I figured out the vocal processor had this sustaining harmony feature completely by accident looking for something totally different in the owners manual, but wandered into the section about footswitch capabilities. Below is a picture of the pile of the owners manuals to my many pieces of music gear.

As you can tell I'm very proud of my reference manuals...and very frustrated with them, although it turns out I really don't refer to them much. When I do refer to them, I refer to them as "aggravating", or "useless". While we're on the subject of manuals..or while I'm on the subject, (you really have no control of the direction of this blog...which is a pity) Why are the owners manuals to music gear so vague? For example the vocal processor manual read the following-  "Truly an innovation, the harmony hold feature allows you (on a whim) sustain the backing harmony vocals as you continue to sing through them" Now we all know that's great, it is innovative, and I love how they included "on a whim". I definitely need to talk to these people. As great as they may be, and their lingo, they don't tell you how to set up the harmony hold feature. Simply that it can be done. No further information, diagram, or clue as to how to pull off this "innovative feature". Could you imagine if they did this in aviation school? The instructor gets up in front of the class and says "These planes can be flown" and threw you keys to the plane and sent you on your way....on your way off the end of the runway into a ditch no doubt... if you even make it out of the hanger. All that aside, using my own innovatility (which I know isn't a word)(or wasn't until now)(who do you contact about making new words public anyway? I have a snegalia of them) Luckily, with a little effort, I was able to dig through the processor myself and finally figure the harmony hold feature out on my own "manually" which is quite punny. These vague manuals have been giving me manual overload for years...and I need as much help on this project as possible! That's the funny thing about the VSO, or one funny thing. With all the madness I really have no idea what I'm doing.... I have references on this, and reference manuals. Just don't reference the manuals on my references, they would simply tell you that what I say is true, but not why. Back to my cluelessness- It turns out the digital processors I use have about 80% more capability that I just haven't bothered to, or been intelligent enough to implement. For example this vocal processor also has the ability to serve as a harmonizer for my guitar, a very cool effect. Although I did figure out this feature another problem arises in that I can never seem to remember to use these extra frills. While I'm dancing away on VSO playing the guitar, bass, drums, singing lead and backing vocals, trying to remember the lyrics, while doing all the part/drone/loop switching, not to mention the lightshow, I barely have time to remember that I need to do my taxes let alone turn on the harmonizer feature during a guitar solo. Of all these features I don't know about and/or bother/remember to use, some may not be as useful in my application. It still leads me to wonder what really could be done if I took the time to delve deeper into these modules....but man, I still gotta eat..

10:06pm

Hello, I just remembered I wanted to mention this.....another in a series of self-depreciating observations..

You know Paris Hilton? ..the actress? 

(This one)

Although she's pretty cute, until two days ago I thought she was a hotel in France. 
I mean think about it- "Paris Hilton".. it sounds like a hotel to me...the Hilton Hotel in Paris. This makes me wonder if I've misinterpreted anything else along the way.."Moscow McDonalds"..?
Is this the first commercial fast-food restaurant opened in the newly freed Soviet Union, 
or simply a national Pop icon in Russia? Which also leads me to wonder, who's next, 
"Salzburg Marriott"? or "Isabella House of Pancakes"?

Ok I gotta go.

Monday - 2/06/06

9:49am

Ohhhh no you don't....it's too early to be reading blogs, especially this one, 
and you have work to do. So do I.

12:44pm

"There are points of evolution in every sport, and every art form, that center around significant events which define all that follow"

- Craig Stecyk, on the birth of extreme

2:01pm

So who won the super bowl? I fell asleep before the end so I'm not sure who won. Of course you realize I'm talking about this ..a really super bowl someone is auctioning on ebay...you no doubt had your eyes pinned to it last night too. I can't blame you...Look at that uniform design, it is quite lovely. A nice addition to any dinnerware. 

Why, what did you think I was talking about? A mere game where padded morons run back and forth down a grass field over and over for three and a half hours? Cutting into perfectly good rehashed sitcom time? Now it wouldn't be so bad if they actually ran down the field for more than .00045 percent of the time. Most of the game they are just standing there (I apologize to anyone into football, I don't really have a problem with it...Actually I do, please read on) 
Who has time to watch them huddle and discuss/argue over whether a team member was held or had one foot over the line or who's headset is bigger? YOU'RE RUNNING AFTER A BALL. There are more important issues here people. Like me playing the theme to Looney tunes all by myself. I could go on and on about football, and probably will in future bloggings, and also right now. I think the fact of the matter is that it's my fault as usual in that I never really got into football and I feel it's too late to start now. I feel somewhat left out of this sub-culture. See how I turned that around? a minute ago you hated me, you feel a little guilty now don't you. I have tried to get into the game as I've tried to like brussel sprouts but it just ain't happenin'. Actually forget all I've said. I do like football. I really do actually... I appreciate good plays when I see them and the work that goes into it. I even know most of the rules. I just enjoy it better watching it during the sports segment on t.v. news. That way you see the whole game in 11 seconds. I have A.D.D. (for real) and can barely tolerate the boring down time, or more suitably, dry spell in-between blinking my eyelids so to me this is a lot of time wasted. Football not blinking. You wouldn't save much time not blinking. Well maybe a little, but having to put in the eyedrops every 20 seconds it would be a wash. An eyewash. With football you don't really miss much putting that other three hours and twenty minutes to more constructive use that isn't shown on the news. Even if I were to really try to get into it, football that is, not blinking, I'm already into that, I think we all are....If I were to try and get into football; therein lies the problem that I would have years of research ahead of me to catch up on as to who is on who's blinking team and who threw the blinking ball farthest in 1962.. That's the point right? A means to join folks together in discussing the whole operation...something to talk about besides the weather...so we're not all just standing there blinking at each other...That and provide a nemesis for people in certain locales with rival teams elsewhere to root against. This is common of all people I've found. Not only do we need to bond with other humans with common interests in a community, but we also need to have an enemy. In the short term it is football rivalry. On a larger scale we oppose certain nations, duly referring to "us" and "them".. us being U.S. In the long term we may finally all be bound together with a common bond and nemesis- When the aliens arrive... Then we'll  share a common enemy for at least 30 seconds, and finally achieve world unification, and possibly some serious deforestation. We'll no doubt have a new football rival when they do show up. Those aliens may play a mean game of pigskin so we'd better be prepared. Well I'm sorry to harp on football, or aliens. I should just be harping on my harp (as you can guess I have several harp sounds to choose from) In short I guess I'm just as guilty for being way too obsessively into the VSO, and I have no one to talk to about it as even I don't understand the blinking thing. I guess if I had some VSO face paint I'd no doubt don some.

Wednesday - 2/08/06 

12:08am

Ok forget about all that Morley A/B switching nonsense. That's old news. Outdated blog ago. 
It took me awhile but I have come up with a way better solution. A solution that was sitting there blinking at me the whole time in my VSO extraneous gear plastic bin with color coordinated latched cover. Below is a picture of my old setup with the Morley

This is a picture of the new and improved setup incorporating the little white box on the top left

This is a picture of the Morley in the trash 

As you can see, besides the fact that I forgot to put a trash bag in the trashcan, (and it's too late now) the Morley is now pretty much useless and nowhere near as god as the new unit. 
I've misspelled nothing, and the unit I refer to is this-

the Boss LS-2 line switcher

My new friend, and confidant.. and I'm confident my new confidant, which makes me much more confident than my old confidant, will improve my overall confidence in switching confidently. Although I like myself the way I am, and don't ever plan to change, but I do plan to switch.    a lot.    My new compadre the Boss LS-2 line switcher allows the same capability as my old compadre, the Morley A/B, but at a much higher price. Compared with my old compadre the Morley A/B switcher, the LS-2 is a far superior unit if you were to compare compadres. See if you can follow- The Morley A/B has two 1/4" audio inputs which can be toggled between to a common output, which is running to the aux-in on my 10 channel submixer. It is simply a junction box. This LS-2 line switcher has the ability to run three (3) inputs into one output. (uh-oh) Truthfully there are 3 outputs as well but that is something I don't even want to think about as I still need to do my taxes. I only use one of the outputs for now. The LS-2 also offers volume control knobs for each of the parts, or two of them anyway (red and green knobs) This allows real time mixing of the droning/looping part which is a huge plus (+) and prior to this units addition left me in a slump- Bent over trying to mix the levels at waist level. Of course the Line switcher pedal, with all it's godliness, had to be mounted sideways for best ergonomic setup.. which we all know I'm big on, and will be elaborated on sooner than later. It also had to be mounted sideways due to the 1/4" cord inputs which is a whole rant in and amongst itself -Cords- which will be forthcoming in further bloggings. Which reminds me I have decided to rename this my Flog page as I seem to beat the heck out of everything.

To refresh, this is the Boss LS-2 line switcher 

This is the Boss LS-2 line switcher sideways as I use it in my configuration

This is the Boss LS-2 line switcher totally upside down. 
I don't use it this way but no doubt will in the future

This is the Boss LS-2 with a side of toast

All this brings me to the point that I'm hungry, the toast wasn't nearly enough, and I'm not eating my new compadre. The theory of VS-ergOnomics, which I would like to finally nail down..... (No doubt nail down with a nailgun)(as I seem to be a bit wordy) Which is better than being a bit nerdy, but unfortunately I'm that too. Nerdy, not a nailgun, I am more of a nail-gunner. As you can see, despite the fact that I REALLY need a job, ergonomics play a pivotal role here in VSO-land. The time factor, in that I am doing everything realtime, is a key element in keeping the whole act together. If I need to switch sounds, or change volume/mix a part in mid-performance, a section of my brain needs to think about and execute making the switch, while still performing multi-instrumental / multi-limbed musical arrangements, all the while wondering if my ING direct account earned more than $10 interest last year requiring a 1099. So I try to mount and program everything to the ultimate configuration, consolidatING direct-ion, brain capacity, and physical execution time (by March 31st) therefore not sucking [as much] performance-wise while I lean over to adjust a parameter. I know that last sentence was a run on, but if I had a drum machine I could go off and make a sandwich and not have to worry about keeping the tempo consistent with the rhythm generated by my feet. So little things like switching more efficiently, or having something mounted closer, or sucking on a hamster water bottle dangling above me so I can grab a drink mid-show is important to generating an authentic and appealing performance which ultimately is bound to make Blue Man Group seem like an old silent movie. 

Pictured below are my light control units.

Notice that I flipped them upside down as well so I wouldn't have to reach so far to activate the lights.. I did this out of my typical ergomania in that I gained 4 inches of reach by flipping them over.  "Four inches??" you say? No, I said 4 inches. I used the number 4. Not "Four" spelled out. Fine we'll do it your way. Four inches is quite a lot of ground when you add all of the factors in the physical universe which I am bound to, which include, but may or may not be limited to, time, distance, and nebula. To divulge further, (although I have to stop writing soon as my feet are getting cold) I will illustrate the ergonomic factor once more. Pictured below are my patch switching boxes

If you notice the number pads,  these units also worked out better being flipped upside down. (Man are my feet cold) Mostly due to the cords (again) These switch boxes (or two of the four of them pictured) were once mounted upside down on my guitar, and instead of relearning the whole switching process I decided to leave them upside down because of the snegalia of cords coming off of them. (my feet are stone cold) Come to think of it, It's funny, not only do these units have cords but they produce chords which, to me, is funny...but I lost you back on day two anyway.....Blogged to death....Below is a picture of the same switching boxes right side up which kind of makes me dizzy

As you can see they are right side up. In your world. Alright my feet are so cold they're basically non-existent at this point, oh there they are. They are also right side up. To be more precise, the right one is on the right, and the left one is on the left, but that's sure to change as well as a mutated form of Gregornomics. 

I must go don some socks.

Blog on

Snowday - 2/12/06 

7:17pm

All jokes aside (I'll really try) Today was a great day for the VSO film scoring experiment. A former student from Northeastern came by to work on his score/soundtrack. It was intriguing to have someone else involved in the production for once, sitting there the room with me. He would convey the types of music he was looking for (in this case orchestral) and guide me as to what sound he was after. He gave me several ideas in the process that I hadn't tried before. Such as different instruments and instrument setups. Even using the regular (clean) guitar sound as solo instrument over an orchestral background. We traded thoughts and ideas back and forth and in most cases I was able to provide what he was looking for. The VSO does have limitations. For example I only get one shot at doing the music right (as I do it all realtime) On the other side of the coin (pun forthcoming)(behave) the VSO is maybe the only way to pound out an orchestral soundtrack in hours, even minutes instead of days/weeks. The trade off is minor because of the time and cost factor being reduced so much. Hopefully out on the west coast there will be a multitude of producers looking for the product I can deliver. I obviously want to make money, but am going to try to keep my prices low until the word spreads about this killer application. More than anything (although I need income) I want to spread the word about the VSO as I'm pretty sure it will cause some excitement out there if what's happened around here in the last month or two continues.

12:19pm

I am outta here in

6

Days (ya right) 

No this time i THINK i'M SERIOUS, friggin capslock (and the fact I stillhave to loosk at hey kybord tp ttype)    

yup, I still have to look at it.

Monday - 2/13/06 

7:07pm

Carved calmly in to the darkness, perched above the trees. The stark, still light of a winter's full moon shone in. The many windows reflecting and refracting the glow in a soft, beckoning hue. On watch from above, brave witness to the storm.. now blown to sea.

4:17pm

"Heaven is Cordless"

-a whimsical tale of utter frustration

   Cords, wires, Satan's tentacles, whatever you want to call them.. There's no way I'm going to rank on my beloved cords.., well ok I will, you blogged me into it, or rather I blogged you into it. Scientists and economists estimate that the VSO setup has $5,000 worth of cords built into it which are necessary to join and utilize all of the audio processing gear involved. They also concur that I have another $37,622 worth of cords sitting as spares stored in my sister's attic. Regardless if the setup is the complex VSO rig, a cord running between a basic guitar and amplifier setup, or simply that I am too cheap to get a self storage space. If you are a musician, cords are involved. Unless you go acoustic, and don't use cords. Unfortunately you still would need to use chords which is spelled differently, and is something different altogether. It isn't a wire as much as it is three or more notes played together. Just three notes would be called a triad. I don't have any triads in the VSO rig. Just a few pyramids. Ultimately if you're a musician you will be plagued by cords/chords for the rest of your life. Keeping that in mind, let's move on... Actually let's not move on. Let's just stay right here as I just thought of something- If you play acoustic violin you would never have to worry about cords or chords. I don't think that you can play more than two strings at a time on the violin (and therefore only two notes maximum) Or, I don't know, maybe you can play three strings at a time on the violin, but only if you're Wolfgang Tchaiskovsky using a rubber bow. All that aside if you play the trumpet, saxaphone, or other similar acoustic instrument you won't have to deal with cords or chords unless you play three or more trumpets, saxaphones, or other similar acoustic instruments all at once, which I'm working on. Come to think of it I'm selling the VSO. It's going right on Vbay... I'm getting a trumpet... Three or more trumpets...I'm off to Tbay. To avoid [further] confusion, (ya right) the official definitions of chords vs. cords (in my opinion) are as follows:

Chord - n. In music performance, any set of three or more notes (or trumpets) played together

Chords - n. (pl.) Plural of Chord (see [horn section] above)

Cord - n. A wire or connecting cable used to join two or more pieces of electronic equipment

Cords - n. (pl.) A combination of two or more tangled wires in a giant unworkable mass.

       Truthfully I love cords, and chords more so (much more so) That's basically how the VSO started, cords not chords. Well both really, but cords more so, (much more so) I'd have to say it all started with a guitar, and amplifier with a cord to join the two. This worked out pretty well until my eyeballs started to dry out and I found out that you could put a effect pedal, such as reverb, in between the guitar and amp for more control over the tonality. This of course required an extra cord to join the unit in between the guitar and amp, and this is also where all hell broke loose, and why I don't have a wife, children, and now, even a job. Damn chords. I mean cords. Whatever the case they are both to be held responsible for the VSO, and therefore this blog page. So now you hate them too. Damn cords. We mean chords. Dem mean chords, we hate dem. I used to store *all them in a huge bin all together, but just like putting a human male and female locked in confinement together for an extended period of time, they will eventually mate. This is a scientific fact. Actually it isn't, but it sounds plausible, and even possible. I mean what else would there be for them to do? I mean all blinking aside... Soon we'll know for sure if the aforementioned is true if my experiment in the basement with Jim and Cindy is a success, which reminds me I haven't fed them....ok I'm back. I didn't hear the pitter patter of little vso spare feet as I slid the animal crackers under the door so I assume they have yet to spawn. Although they have started defecating in the same corner which may indicate some sort of community development. So it won't b-log now I'm sure until we have some offspring which will prove the point I was trying to make which I totally forgot about. What was it, ah yes, just as if you were to put two humans together; any two wires, (cords) placed even at different ends of the same room, will somehow eventually work themselves into a snargled mass. Requiring hours, even minutes of detangilization. Ok, now as we all know I tend to invent words here and therefore detangilization is a keeper. Don't you think? or maybe you do, or maybe it already is a word, 
it's too good not to be, or to be, that is the question. 

*dem all

Someone asked me once- "Wow! did you buy this thing at the guitar store or put it together yourself?" I said, "well both really" as I whacked him on the side of the head with a mallet.

   The VSO is a vast array of cords, modules, instruments and effects that took years of  painstaking assembly, disassembly, then re-assembly. Only to be disassembled yet again, requiring assembly, a little more disassembly, thus resulting in even further assembly. An assembly of experts assembled to determine just what the heck I had assembled. This assembled assembly resembled a semblance of assembly assemblages assembled. Not sure where to go from there exactly, but I do know I used to use the cheap-o brand cords. Until I realized they'd barely survive the ride home let alone being draped behind my head from a lit guitar. Then I discovered Monster cable. Although they have cost me the yearly income of a medium sized township, they are worth it. Not only do they cost a bundle, they wind up in a bundle. At least they actually work for more then 23 minutes, and are completely guaranteed. Guaranteed to wind up in a bundle. The girl at the music store who originally sold me the Monster cable said if I was to snip them with a pair of scissors standing right there at the checkout counter they'd have to give me a new one, no questions asked. She even showed me the paper which had the guarantee written on it. After wearing out several pairs of scissors I finally believed her, and the store manager who, brandishing a mallet, kindly asked me to leave. Before I left we played mallet / paper / scissors, but I lost so agreed to leave indignantly. The managers name is Jim, so you know where he ended up. After paying Cindy for the cords at the checkout I gave her the scissors back in the eye-socket holder pouch that she was conveniently carrying at the time. 
I jest of course, it was more a sheath than a pouch, and a bloody one at that. Just then the police arrived so I left through the public exit, which I later confessed to myself, under oath,  was merely a heating vent. Narrowly avoiding capture, our dusty narrator adds- If it weren't for cords the VSO wouldn't be possible in even the largest stretch of the imagination. Which following this blog certainly must be. So you're used to it. Or long gone. [read bump ahead] I know I am, used to it that is, being long gone. Long gone Silver...!away..in a manger, or tangent rather than using longer cords I decided to replace them with short and/or shorter cords as they were less cumbersome in my rack setup. This ultimately allowed me to kill two birds with one stone, or one bird with two stones if it were a government project. Since I had to bump [thank you] the old cheap-o cords out of my rack anyway, I replaced them with superior and not-so-cost effective Monster cable. After pulling the old cords out of my rig, I inevitably had to bump them to my sisters cheap-o storage space [read bump behind] The picture below illustrates the conduit routing cords to my switch boxes, which resembles the lower intestine of a yak, but doesn't smell as bad... Actually it stinks that I need this many cords.

7:45am

Well it was bound to happen

As you can see I put a bag in the trash can. I would never part with my beloved LS-2. I merely used it for scale.

Tuesday - 2/14/06 

2:20pm

4                                                                                                                                                                                 Four

11:17am

Well folks seem to be flocking to this blog page. Or blogging to this flock page, not sure which. Over 300 hits now, and believe it or not most of them aren't just me checking how many hits anymore...that gets old fast. I thank all of you, and I pity you.

I have decided to implement the color coordinating text feature back into the page. For you prior blog readers (or current ones if you scroll down) you will notice different color text which I attempted to use to break up discussions into pertinent groups. Of course I got carried away with the whole thing, hence the VSO. I do think it a good idea for folks going to the page to check my status. I will limit it to two colors in the following manner-

     All pertinent schedule update / VSO info, technical and otherwise, will appear in white text

     All Personal accounts and rants will be in yellow, which is also my speaking voice.

Disclaimer- Due to the nature of me (myself)(I) No guarantee is provided or implied that I will start to go off in another direction no matter what the text color, so be ready for that, but I will do my best.

In conclusion-
I'd like to name this the anti-valentine's day since love has seemed to have given me a miss 
(or not given me a miss) (to make a Mrs.) (or a Ms.)     (Hey, I'm liberal)

10:47am

...buy using icy turf kiwi 
sad used fish he join tug tar 
you give guff, itch yet bun 
vibe khaki act banjo 
we native mime.. number cave 
very true envy, eve secret curtsy
 
earthy toy trees...
fog omni vex 
was omit scat 
not you next reach 
bye by move tryouts toes 
his fish icy... if inside is aqua
diva said "fishwives keep kid grief,
shady divine ought lush color none"

Computer poetry, or 

"Pootery"

A new concept that I am working on. (Well not working on but I seem to have discovered quite on purpose...Truthfully it is an old concept, but I never bothered to tell anyone about it.)
Using the computer spell check feature as a medium, poetry can be constructed as follows:

First the spellchecker needs something to work with, so I run my fingers up and down the keys in random fashion. Hitting the spacebar often in between random letters to separate "words". 
The text below represents the raw material required for the endeavor:

      rxcu iboih nu buyfc ouhb yc rtwx yvg  jin opim uy vb trrc r e ytv bu yb uy by tv uyh u y y f

After "typing" a paragraph of garbled jargon, simply use the spell check feature to insert proper words based on the computer's interpretation of the garbled text, examples pictured below

Example 1:

Example 2:

Sometimes the computer has no suggestion, These words are skipped over (stupid pooter) Example below:

As the "poem" develops I will sometimes choose from words offered in the spell check list. 
This is not cheating, it's creativity.... Che-a-tivity if I were to compromise. Chia-tivity if it were offered as a Chia-pet.. not sure what it would look like, but I bet it would be pretty creative.

The end result is the paragraph below, with garbled, unrecognized words remaining, but real words in between. The computer has "corrected" the spelling errors:

After trimming the unwanted/unrecognized text, and reorganizing what's remaining 
(by breaking up stanzas, not rearranging word order)(If I did that I'd be a Chia-head)

we are left with the following:

buy using icy turf kiwi 
sad used fish he join tug tar 
you give guff itch yet bun 
vibe khaki act banjo 
we native mime number cave 
very true envy eve secret curtsy
 
earthy toy trees 
fog omni vex 
was omit scat 
not you next reach 
bye by move tryouts toes 
his fish icy if inside is aqua 
diva said fishwives keep kid grief 
shady divine ought lush color none 

ps. this line really got me- "bye by move tryouts toes"..?.. I swear that was totally unrehearsed.

Wednesday - 2/15/06 

10:35pm

"But seriously folks, I just flew back from the gym, and boy are my arms tired"

10:21pm

Hello all. I have received feedback about the previous tale of woe, or whoa! involving my Gylemma. It has been transmitted in the form of haiku from a mysterious and sexy source, 
who shall remain brainless. This particular Haiku I will affectionately refer to as "Dayku"-

senseless congestion
hindering my washboard abs
die you yuppies, die

7:51am

My Gylemma

Alright so we all know by now I go to the gym. Though I have a problem with my method of getting there. Maybe you can help me. Or just think of me more deranged than you initially suspected. Before I go on you have to understand what it's like for me over here...
my life basically consists of updating this blog and going to the gym each morning mainly for the emotional boost and the notion that it will prolong my ability to perform the VSO. I won't be able to do this forever unless I incorporate a walker setup, which is forthcoming. Come to think of it the VSO is a self contained gym. Ok I feel myself going off and don't want to lose this discussion so click here to exit this discussion into a subdiscussion provided at no extra cost, it will be rejoined here. After working out I go home and make dry toast and sometimes even eat it. I then get to work on the VSO (Sometimes I work on the VSO before I go to the gym, starting as early as 5 am) 3:30am if I had to be completely honest, and all denial aside, 3am. My gym is only a half mile away as the crow flies, 3/4 mile away walking distance, and 64 miles by car, which will be discussed momentarily. Usually I will just jog to the gym which is just fine despite the perils on the way, which will also be discussed (I need a job) In good weather I jog to the gym which is indicated on the map I've prepared below. (I really need a job) The red "x" indicates my house, and the little target (stolen from the Target b-logo) is my gym.

The red line indicates my jogging route which despite it's own hazards is really the best route to take (If anyone knows of a job, any job, this blog is serving as a career to keep myself occupied but I'm not getting paid for it) Back to my Gylemma- Usually I like to jog to the gym as it is only 3/4 mile away by foot, and we all know I have feet. Athlete's feet. However in cold or inclement weather I don't really like to jog and would rather drive, facing even greater peril, which is the blue line, and will be discussed shortly. My jogging perils are as follows in red numbers and will be elaborated on. The trek out of my door, down the street, take a left, then a right isn't so bad. Despite the occasional clueless minivan driver swerving into me while trying to call the school nurse on her cell phone. The mayhem begins when I try to cross the crosswalk (1) Alright people, we all know pedestrians have the right of way.. right? ..of way? WE get the right of way? and I mean right away, not after you drive by sipping on your coffee, not after you check your blackberry jam bagel, not after you adjust your....ah must I go on? That was a rhetorical question, shut up. So I stand there running in place at the crosswalk for 15 minutes waiting for some schlub to let me cross, trying to make eye contact with the drivers to form some sort of community development...bond with the oncoming traffic...or I simply start walking and cause a car wreck, which I have done, do, and will do again weather permitting. Watch for it. Once over the crosswalk we're faced with the ominous light at Hartford St (2). Either I push that little button on for the crosswalk. Which takes another 12 minutes, or I jog down the street and cross there, where there is less chance of being squashed like a hapless bug. There is still a good chance mind you, just less of a chance. Once over Hartford street (3), completely winded, frazzled, and ready to go home, but afraid to, I proceed to job to the gym. Past the West Natick fire station, where I run in for help, as I'm usually on fire after my previous ordeal. Up the off-ramp to rte 9.. Depending on the snowpack/mud factor I can cross through the field (4) and shave off a little of the time I spent jogging in place back at the crosswalk (1) After that it's pretty uneventful to my gym door, where the workout supposedly begins.

nto my driving adventures. The days I decide to drive to the gym (which are most days lately in the winter) are somewhat uneventful until I get to the end of my driveway. Truthfully the fun begins at the stop sign at Speen street (1) I will provide a duplicate map below for your convenience. Actually I won't, you will have to scroll up. I'm busy working. At the stop sign (1) I usually prepare something to do beforehand as I wait to get into the snegalia of oncoming traffic. Usually I shave, read the entire paper, and get dressed while sitting at this stop sign. That's on a good day..a Sunday...at 3am. During rush hour I have the time to settle down and start a family while waiting for the confounded traffic. See little Billy grow up as the cars speed past, oop, that guy may be waving me in, no, he's giving me the finger. Why? I'm just sitting here... The whole family there, sitting...idle. Watching the oncoming fingering. They thought of turning the street into a trailer park but zoning laws prohibited it. Once out in traffic, well into retirement, I now have to deal with all the stupid joggers trying to cross the crosswalk (1) I usually swerve and just miss them as I adjust my MP3 player. Idiots. Where was I....on to the light at Hartford street (2) This light isn't bad actually, unless you're coming the other way which I will leave for next time I go blogging. After (2) we get to (3) the first in a series of death-defying merges. Whoever designed this Speen street rotary /way-off ramp needs to have their head examined. Although it is a magnificent piece of abstract art, as a causeway it's without cause, or explanation. If you were from out of town you would be at a complete loss, pulled over to the side of the road with flares outside the vehicle wrapped under a blanket in the back seat. I mean there's no way to navigate it unless you grew up in the trailer park down the street, which was prohibited. A friend of mine who we'll call "yuckmouth" as that's what my other friend used to call him. He was onto something too...Anyway yuckmouth was at a party once and they were all jabbering about this and that and he comes out with "hey, whoever designed that Speen street rotary is on glue!" or something to that effect. It turns out one of the guys in the conversation was chief engineer who worked on designing the Speen street rotary. So our friend, shall we say, put his foot in his yuckmouth. Maybe that's why it was so yucky, I don't know, my point is that I'm not alone in thinking that aliens designed the Speen street rotary. Not just any aliens...mean football aliens. After hell-merge number one, which I haven't really even touched upon, touched upon the bumper of the guy in front of me, oh wait, now he's in back of me, oh wait , now he's engulfed in a flaming ball shooting into the lobby of the Hampton Inn. (3) We now come to the next phase of the amusement ride, or de-amusement ride to the gym. Pronounced Jim. (4) Another of the gnarly merges, lights, signs, skid marks, on the Tide coffee stain proving grounds (ya ya on the pun)(if you caught it)(I know I didn't)(at first) Sitting patiently at the stoplight, which I've heard takes up 3 months of the average human lifespan. Sitting at stoplights... 3 months. It's actually pretty cheap rent, and all the blinking's free. Blinking lights, onward, upward, outward, wait, left, no right, are you going left? Which way was left again? I feel left out, out over the shoulder. (5) Head and shoulders. Heading to the shoulder I swerve right trying to get myself forced over in that general direction despite the garbage truck and two school buses blocking my approach. "The two yugo's will make great ramps to get over the blockage"... "no", I sigh to myself, 
"it's Sunday". I try to remain thankful that I don't have to try and get into the entrance to the Natick mall, which is a full 100 yards before my target, and 1000 points and a free guy. 
On to the worst merge known to man, or known to me, I know that...man... Merge (6) Let's have a big round of applause for the yuckmouth who designed this. Not only do you have to deal with the pinheads who stop instead of merging (even though a lane was created exclusively for their merge) I have to try and get all the way over to the left lane to make a U-turn in less than 16 inches while cars speed by doing 60 in a 40 on Rte 9. , which equals 109. They have erected a blinking sign displaying the middle finger, flipping people off automatically as there's so much of it going on. They haven't but they should. Erected the sign. Or maybe a giant statue of a finger. In all it's glory. Sitting...idol. Anyway the u-turn at (7) isn't bad. Apparently they have a sensor installed (early in the morning anyway) that can detect a car at the light and it changes. Either that or I've been really lucky the last 142 times I've approached it. Ending on a dull note (8) is just a right. All right? all right.

Thursday - 2/15/06 

6:57pm

Sorry

2

I seem to be forgetting to do my countdown. It seems I'm only doing even numbers which is odd. Rather it isn't odd. It's even. Even better odds are that even though it's odd, it's even. 

6:57pm

6:07pm

Allow me to update my progress Bloggy-style:

    The tentacled gig at Deja Vu records is a wash, well not a wash, not even an eyewash. The truth of the matter is that I was instead hired by this same woman to play at her friends sons 15th birthday party. He is turning 15 (still) and is having a party at a local venue which will remain nameless. Although the facility has an adequate drainage system, I don't want to disclose the name of the place because of all you rabid VSO fans who will no doubt crash the party. Truthfully I just forgot the name of the place. This woman has never seen the VSO but I have been raving about the project like a lunatic for the past couple months that I've known her, or owed her, or she's owed me, but that's another story entirely. Which reminds me I need to do laundry. Since no one at this party has experienced the VSO experience, which is similar to the Jimi Hendrix experience but with far less "Jimi" experienced. I plan to pull a little gag on all of *dem. What I plan to do is **this- Go in and set up beforehand, before anyone will be there to give me a hand setting up my equipment. I will have the whole VSO set up in all it's majesty. People will filter in around 6pm so don't look for any bloggage from 6 on, I'll have my hands full. Unfortunately I can't seem to get to my point as this blogsled keeps careening out of control, as it was before, as it is now, hold on...we're headed for that ravine...the lead blog mustn't have got enough blogfood. OK we all know I'm a control freak so back to the matter at hand. After the partygoers arrive (hopefully to this party)(MUSH!!) they will be confronted with the task of witnessing the VSO first hand, which as we know, they never have before (I can feel my point getting closer) The VSO, in all it's financial glory, has the potential to sound very stupid if played by someone who isn't totally familiar with the equipment (like myself( ,,oops, ")"  ...and "oops" on the ",,oops" it should have been "..oops") So I plan to go up there, everyone standing there dead silent, kool-aid in hand, and expand on this "sounding stupid" concept for the first two minutes before. As I can control the tonality going on, and I've been practicing sounding stupid on this blog. So I can make it sound good (as I usually try to) or I can make it sound bad (as it usually turns out). Actually my performance usually lands somewhere in the middle of these "good" and "bad" realms. So for the first two minutes it will sound like a gar(b)age band. I have couple interesting techniques to further expand on sounding stupid, or "bad" which I will further expand upon thusly:

* them

** dis

Below is a picture of my kick-butt Floyd Rose tremelo system

Oh sorry, those are my taxes

Below is a picture of my kick-butt Floyd Rose tremelo system

Anyone who is familiar with this guitar accessory can read on. Thank you for reading on, 
It means a lot to me. The tremelo arm, whammy bar, string detensioning device, (a Floyd Rose by any other name wouldn't sound as sweet)(it really wouldn't) The unit is used to accentuate the guitar sound in the following way(s) It is used to detension the strings, by pushing down on it, thus causing the pitch to drop, exaggerated picture below (to scale)(major scale)

This effect is used quite a lot in heavier sounding guitar arenas (and stadiums) in that the player can "dive bomb" notes and then be considered really cool. Demo here. In another application it can be used to produce a warbling sound, or vibrato. Demo not available. In other music Fields (pastures)[genres]{David}the tremelo arm can be used to add other feels or dimension to one's playing. Back on track, I have figured a way to wedge a piece of ABS (All Bull Shit) plastic behind the Floyd Rose Tremelo System to detune the strings automatically. Pictured below.

This plastic piece is a mere mock-up, and is sure to be modified, glorified, horrified, scraped, draped, reshaped, branded, sanded, milled, drilled, grilled, and thrilled before the final piece is in hand. Below is a picture of the same piece of plastic wedged under the Floyd Rose Tremelo

This allows the guitar to sound horribly bad even when played correctly as the strings are detuned, thus causing the pitch to be dropped leaving the guitar sounding terribly out of tune. The Samples below demonstrate the sound of an open "G" chord played normally, and the same exact chord which has succumbed to my plastic wedgings

Normal open G chord

Detensioned G chord

Another device which can lend a hand to my awful performance is the almighty Lexicon vortex.

 A unique effects processor which allows ambient, swirling, vortex (hence the name I suppose) effects that add dimension (in this case dementia) to a musical performance. Demo soon. (Since my feet are getting cold again I will not expand on the lexicon vortex at this time)(That is a whole 'nuther blog party entirely) Along with the Floyd Rose trick, and the vortex, my vocal processor can join in the fun too. As this unit has the ability to pitch correct, it also has the ability to pitch un-correct and sound like a tired lounge singer on valium. Demo pending. Back to the birthday party...Before I open the show I plan to